The Mum Reviews

Porky Pie recipe

Comfort food is delightful in the winter, when jumpers and jackets cover their calorific side effects. As we enter Spring, however, I try to lighten our meals a little, in anticipation of shorts and vest tops. This recipe is a mid-week crowd pleaser; not cottage, not shepherd’s, but porky pie. It’s a quick, healthy meal that doesn’t take more than 30 minutes from fridge to table.

Ground pork is lovely and lean, but still has fabulous flavour if you give it a chance to brown. I add chopped mushroom to the meat to add volume, texture and flavour, but the kids would never know it! This is a gluten-free recipe that could be vegetarian if you use Quorn instead of meat. The usual carrots and peas add even more veg, texture and freshness to this delicious favourite.

My kids aren’t fond of white potato mash – they prefer sweet potato, so I’ve made this with sweet potato mash many times and it’s wonderful. This recipe is more traditional, with white or yellow potato mash on top, but if you’re really pressed for time midweek, you can use instant mash potatoes to top the meat. This saves peeling, boiling and mashing yourself, and only involves the kettle and a bowl. For families with less pernickety children, the instant mash is a real timesaver, and adding a little dollop of crème fraiche or soured cream makes all the difference for the taste. The pork gravy tastes amazing no matter how you top it!

You’ll need:

1lb ground pork
1 cup chopped white onion (I use frozen)
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 cup chopped brown mushroom
1 cup chopped or grated carrot
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon dried oregano
½ teaspoon chicken stock concentrate, or ½ cube dried chicken stock
1 teaspoon tomato paste
1 cup frozen sweet peas
Optional 1 additional tablespoon Worcestershire sauce near the end
Salt and pepper to taste
4 cups of white potato mash (if not using instant)
3-5 medium russet potatoes
1 cup low fat milk
1 tablespoon salted butter
Salt and pepper to taste
Optional ½ cup shredded cheese

The method:

If you’re making your own mash, get a pot of water on the cooker to bring to the boil, and wash and quarter your potatoes so they’re ready to add to the water straight away.

Choose a nice wide pan for browning your meat and bring it to a medium-high heat. Add the chopped onions, ground pork and Worcestershire sauce and mix together, breaking up the meat and distributing the onions and sauce.

Leave the meat for a good 2 minutes to allow one side to brown deeply. Resist the temptation to stir as you want the flavour to stick. This is a great time to chop mushrooms and carrots.

Add the dry spices to the meat before your next stir and coat the meat before leaving it for another 2 minutes.

Add your chopped mushroom and carrot once the meat is mostly browned and mix into the mixture well.

Next, add the chicken stock and tomato paste, and perhaps a splash of water to help dissolve, but the meat and veg will have produced a bit of liquid to help stir into the gravy.

Add the frozen peas and distribute into the mixture, reduce the heat to medium-low and cover. Allow the mixture to simmer covered for about 10 minutes.

While the meat is simmering, whip up your mash with either the kettle water and packet, or the boiled potatoes you’ve drained in the sink. If making from-scratch mash, I add the boiled potatoes back to the pan with the butter and use a fork to smash. I add 1% milk, and salt and pepper to taste. The handful of shredded cheese is optional, but adds colour and creaminess.

After about 10 minutes, taste the pork and add one more splash of Worcestershire to taste. I love the flavour, so add that last minute splash before it goes into the oven. You’re fine to use salt and pepper to taste if you prefer.

Pour the meat mixture into the bottom of a baking dish (I use a square non-stick) and cover with your mash.

Slide the pie into a preheated oven at 200C/400F for about 15 minutes. It doesn’t take long for bubbles, so an additional baking tray underneath is advised. Allow the pie to cool slightly before serving and enjoy!

Tips for starting the The 5:2 (Fast) Diet

I’ve seen a few people around lately asking about what diets worked for people, and even specifically about the 5:2 diet, also known as The Fast Diet. So I thought I’d write a little piece about my experience with the diet and some tips to help you if you decide to try it.

I first heard about the diet in February 2013. I had just returned to work after having my first son, and I weighed about 200 pounds (just over 14 stone). For me, that was not a comfortable weight. At lunch one day, some of my colleagues started talking about this diet where you eat just 500 calories (600 if you’re a man) for 2 days of the week, and eat normally (2000 calories/day ideally) the rest of the time.

I thought it sounded like such a ridiculous fad diet, and possibly even dangerous. I also thought I would be extremely grumpy if I didn’t eat enough in a day, and possibly even wouldn’t be able to function.

And because this is the sort of person I am, I decided to read a book about the diet. Just so I could tell my colleagues that I read it and still think it’s rubbish. So I bought the Kindle version of The Fast Diet by Michael Mosley. He is the guy off of the TV show, Trust Me, I’m a Doctor, and one of the originators of the 5:2 craze. He tested out the science of intermittent fasting by doing it on himself, and the book lays out his findings.

It was utterly convincing. I gave the book to my husband – who is the biggest sceptic you could ever meet – and he thought it was great too. We decided to do it together.

It took me about 9 months to lose 20 pounds (about 1.5 stone) the first time I tried it. Then I got pregnant with my 2nd son and gained it all back. I started again when I stopped breastfeeding my 2nd, and again lost the 20 pounds. So the weight loss is slow, but that is what makes it sustainable. You will also see from the book that there are other reported health benefits, such as lowering your risk of cancer and diabetes.

I don’t have much in the way of before and after photos, as like a typical mum, I’m not in many of the pictures, especially full-length ones. But here I hope you can see the difference in my face, from April 2016 to now.

April 2016

March 2017

So I’ll let you read the book for yourself – it’s a quick read – but here are two lists from me. One with the pros and cons of the diet (and I think the pros far outweigh the cons), and another with a few tips for getting started.

Pros & cons of The Fast Diet

Pros

It works around your social life. You don’t have to be the one who can’t drink or have anything on the menu on your night out. Just plan your low-calorie days to work around your life. Ideally, they should be on non-consecutive days of the week, but it doesn’t really matter.

It doesn’t cost a lot of money. So many diets require subscriptions, or for you to attend groups or buy specialty foods. This diet isn’t trying to sell you anything (except maybe the recipe books, but they’re not necessary). We found that we even spend less money on food generally because we are eating less!

It can work around your family. You don’t need to eat a separate meal from everyone else. The diet works on the premise that in order to keep yourself feeling good on your low-cal days, you should eat mostly plants and protein. So a fast day meal might be some chicken and vegetables. This can easily be adapted for the rest of your family by adding some rice or potato. And, once again, it’s only twice a week – so it won’t really hurt the non-dieters to just eat the same as you.

It resets your eating habits. I found that it changed the way I ate even on my “normal” days. I’m less hungry all the time and my appetite is smaller. I don’t get ridiculously hungry between meals and mostly forget to snack! I’ve found it’s easier now to ask myself if I’m really hungry before I eat, rather than just bored or emotional.

It improves concentration. You might think that not eating will make you tired or cause you to have difficulty concentrating. But I (and many on the diet) have found that I concentrate better on my fast days.

It’s a diet for people who love food. I haven’t had to give up a single food that I love. I’m still allowed cake, chocolate and alcohol! It’s only 2 days/week that I restrain myself. And there are still delicious things to eat on those days, with just a bit of effort. Just don’t totally binge on your non-fast days.

You don’t have to obsess over counting points/calories/planning meals, etc. I’ve tried loads of other diets, like Weight Watchers, and if anything they made me more obsessed with food. Constantly counting calories and thinking about everything I put in my mouth is not for me! On this diet, I just plan 2 low-cal meals per day for 2 days per week.

Cons

It still requires willpower. I’m not going to lie. It’s not always easy when, for example, your neighbour drops by on a fast day with a beautiful piece of chocolate cake. Or when you’re having a really bad day. But just try and wait until tomorrow to indulge. And if your willpower fails, you can always fast on a different day!

It still requires planning. You do have to be careful about what you eat on fast days. You need to eat vegetables and protein in order to feel full. Crisps, chocolate or other junk food is going to use up your calories quickly and leave you starving.

The weight loss is slow. I only lose about 2 pounds per week. And some weeks nothing. It did take me about a year to lose those 20 pounds. But they say that the most sustainable weight loss is when you’ve lost it slowly.

Sometimes I feel cold or get a headache. The headache means I’m not drinking enough water. You get lots of your water from food, so you need to drink more if you’re eating less. I think the cold is just par for the course. Cardigans and hot tea seem to fix it!

Tips for getting started and carrying on

Think about when you’re going to eat on fast days

Some people have breakfast and then eat again at dinner time. Some people starve all day and eat all their calories at dinner time. I like to eat lunch and dinner. I find it easy to skip breakfast, and actually that eating breakfast makes me more hungry over the day. So experiment and see what works for you. Also think about what fits into your lifestyle.

Think about when you’re going to fast

As I mentioned already, this is totally flexible and can be different from week to week. Just consider whether you find it easier doing some things than others. I find it difficult when I’m with my kids because they’re constantly eating, but if I’m working I just focus on that and forget about food.

Think about what you’re going to eat on fast days

It’s good to start out with a few meals planned. If you’re having 2 meals in the day, it’s probably best to have one 200-calorie one, and another 300-calorie one.

You can get lots of recipes for free on the internet by searching for 5:2 diet recipes or recipes with the calorie value you’re looking for. The Hairy Bikers do some good ones. I also highly recommend the Fast Diet cookbooks, The Fast Diet Recipe Book and The Fast Cook. There are loads of other books out there though.

Finally, it’s also worth noting that you can eat convenience food on fast days. If I’m at home, my lunch will usually be two eggs quickly scrambled with 1-calorie cooking spray and no milk. I stick some salt and chili sauce on top for a quick 200-cal lunch. There are many tinned soups that are 200 calories (Baxter’s Hearty have a few nice chunky ones). You can eat a pretty massive amount of salad with chicken or tuna on top for 200 calories. And you can even get diet microwave ready meals.

I also work in London two days per week and buy lunch out. Pret a Manger, Itsu and Crush all list the calories of their food in the shop so you can pick something appropriate. Pret’s Tuna Nicoise salad with a squeeze of lemon and salt is very filling and less than 200 calories. You can also check most food shop’s websites to see if they have any low-cal options.

Drinking is your friend

No, I don’t mean booze on this occasion (sorry). I mean keep yourself hydrated on your fast days. Keep a bottle of water with you. You can even use one of those fruit infuser things to keep it interesting. Sparkling water with a dash of lemon juice is a good option. You can drink unlimited coffee, tea and herbal tea, as long as you don’t add sugar. If you add milk, try to be sparing as this can rack up the calories. You can use artificial sweeteners if you really need sweetener, but it’s better not to.

If I’m really struggling on a fast day, I do give in and have a diet (zero calorie) soft drink. This is not encouraged but allowed. The sugary flavour really helps me feel fuller.

Get support

See if your partner or a friend will join you at least in eating a fast day meal even if they don’t fast all day. It will be good for them too and great to have support. I also recommend The Fast Diet website. It’s got forums where you can connect with other Fast Dieters and even track your progress if you want.

Be kind to yourself

I’m not going to lie. The first 2 weeks can be tough. But if you stick with it for that long, it will get easier. And if you have a bad week or are sick and can’t do it, this diet has absolutely no guilt. Just pick up fasting again when you’re ready.

Are you convinced?

I should mention that I’m not trying to sell you anything here. This is NOT a sponsored post and I have nothing to gain from you going on this diet. I just wanted to share what worked for me (and is still working, albeit slowly), after years of unsuccessfully searching. I hope you’ve found this useful, and if you have any questions, I’ll be happy to answer them in the comments.

Please note that this is not medical advice and you should check with a doctor before starting a new diet plan.

Being an epilepsy mum

A guest post by Leslie from MessyBlog

Last year, I became an epilepsy mum.

Not something I ever had aspirations of being, but life hands you cards sometimes and you don’t get a choice.

I’d had some experience with epilepsy already, after my sister tragically lost her life at 26. It’s also something many people I know have, including friends and my niece and nephew.

Dexter’s first fit was completely out of the blue. We were at my sister-in-law’s house and he was playing on the floor with the trains. He was laying there quite happily at first and then something went wrong.

To give you an idea of what his first fit was like, here is an excerpt from my blog, from the post I wrote after that first one:

“He lay on the floor as kids often do and then arched his head backwards as though he was trying to look at the cat but then he started twitching. We called out to him but he didn’t respond. At first I thought he was just playing. You know, just not answering us because he was being cheeky but we all got down to the floor and quickly realised that he was not messing about. Liam got his phone out and turned the torch on. He shined it in Dexter’s eyes. His pupils weren’t dilating. His hands, feet and eyebrows were twitching and shaking. I called 999 while Liam continued to call out to him and bring him round.”

I can’t fault the ambulance for how quickly they responded. They were with us before the fit had even ended. They did some tests, tried to bring him round and after we answered a few questions about what happened, we decided he was going to hospital.

Dexter started to return to his normal self once we were stood waiting to be seen in A&E. Liam parked the car and came to find us.

We were taken to a bed where many more doctors and nurses repeated the same questions: what was he doing when it happened? How long did it last? Has he been ill recently? Etc.

On eventually leaving the hospital either very late that night or early the next morning, we were advised to call our GP first thing on Monday and get a referral for a neurologist.

We did this and had an appointment booked for a couple of week’s time.

Already, based on the info we had provided and the notes from the hospital staff, our neurologist was pretty convinced that it was epilepsy, but wanted to run some tests before medicating, just to be sure.

Over the next few weeks, he suffered some more fits so we were sent to Addenbrooks for an MRI as well as having an ECG at Peterborough.

Both tests were inconclusive. By now, they knew it was epilepsy but weren’t able to pinpoint a cause or a trigger. But at least we were able to get him on some medication.

I’ve cried so many times. Watching my sister spend a week in a coma after a seizure caused her to stop breathing, and then being at her bedside when she passed away, makes the reality of what could happen to Dexter so much more real. It’s scary and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Not having a trigger or a known cause of his fits makes it harder because we don’t even know what to avoid. I don’t dare take him swimming; he worries me every time he has a bath, and with most of his fits having been at night time, I’m scared every night when he’s in bed. We have an anti-suffocation pillow for him and monitors in his room, so he’s about as safe as he can be, but it’s always there in the back of your mind.

There are many types of epilepsy. The one most people think of is photosensitive epilepsy, whereby the sufferer is affected by flashing lights or strobe effects.

Some people have full on tonic clonic seizures. This is what Dexter has but we don’t know what causes it. It’s all very random.

There is also another type of epilepsy, which both my nephew and my friend have, where they don’t “fit” as such, but they black out momentarily and come round having little or no knowledge of what happened. My nephew has actually done this several times while crossing the road or while just walking along outside.

Each form of epilepsy, although common (I’m sure it’s 1 in 4 people suffer with it in some form) is hard to live with. As I mentioned, it’s hard for me to even bathe Dexter at times because he could fit at any given moment, and in or around water would be especially dangerous.

He’s on daily medication at the moment, and for now we seem to have his dosage right, as he’s not had a fit since November. That was a particularly hard one, though, as he had 3 in the space of four hours, one of them being when he had gone to the shop with Liam and was walking home. It happened in the middle of the street and I felt such immense guilt that I wasn’t there.

But still, in the back of my mind, I’m wondering if the medication is keeping them at bay or because we haven’t had one for a while, is one due at any moment?

Sadly it’s just one of those unpredictable things.

If you do happen to be around when someone has a fit, there are things you can do to help and keep them safe:

cushion their head if they’re on the ground
move them away from anything that could cause injury – such as a busy road or hot cooker
loosen any tight clothing around their neck – such as a collar or tie, to aid breathing
when their convulsions stop, turn them so that they’re lying on their side
stay with them and talk to them calmly until they have recovered
note the time the seizure starts and finishes
Do NOT put anything in their mouths
If the seizure lasts more than 5 minutes, call an ambulance.

I hope this post has helped to inform at least one person on what it’s like living with a child with epilepsy. And if any information has helped to raise awareness in anyway, then I’ve done my job.

For more information on epilepsy, you can visit https://www.epilepsy.org.uk/ or https://www.epilepsysociety.org.uk/

You can also read more of my posts about Dexter’s epilepsy on my blog.

Please check out Leslie on social media:

Mum Hacks – a book to boost your confidence

I remember being pregnant with my first son and stocking up on parenting books. I was going to crack this parenting thing. I read up on all manner of baby and child care, and had plans in place to totally smash any parenting challenge I might possibly face.

I was such an idiot.

There wasn’t a book in the world that could have prepared me for the onslaught of new information, overwhelming responsibility and lack of sleep that came with my first son’s arrival. I was a quivering mess before he was even finished being born, and it got a lot worse before it got better.

I read books on parenting theories. I read books with pictures and diagrams on how to change a nappy or give your baby a bath. I read books on how to schedule every minute of my baby’s day (you know the ones). Seriously, it might make you feel good to read them, but you don’t need them. You will be too tired to care whether you’re doing the nappy right. You will learn by doing. All the diagrams in the world are not going to prepare you for reality.

But one book I wish I had read before I had my children was Mum Hacks by Tanith Carey. When I agreed to review this book, I thought I might find some new tricks of the trade for me to add to my repertoire. And I have found a few (examples to follow in a bit). But where this book really excels is in laying out a blueprint for the sorts of things you actually need to worry about as a mum.

How to cater for your kids’ needs in the kitchen while avoiding it looking like a bombsite.
How to entertain your kids without getting buried by a toy tsunami.
How to get ready in the morning without shouting like a banshee.
How to get your kids to do anything without shouting like a banshee.
How to vaguely enjoy a holiday with young children.
How to keep your house sort of clean with minimum effort.
How to keep yourself sane by looking after yourself.

Now, I have to be honest. Some of the tips, to me, felt sort of obvious. For example, buy a good bib and a massive wipeable plastic highchair. Yep, weaning is a messy business – it’s not a secret. But upon reflection, I realise that tips like that are only obvious to me because I’m on my second toddler now. I’ve figured out a lot of stuff already, and often only by trial and error or blind luck. It actually would have been cool to have known some of these tricks beforehand, instead of googling them at 3am while I fed the baby.

So that’s why I’m recommending that this book is best suited to someone new to the entire business of parenting. It offers that sense of control that I was desperately looking for when I was pregnant with my first. It would have helped me think about what things were practical to buy. It would have helped me organise things in my home while I still had time to organise them, making it easier for me to cope with my little whirlwinds when they arrived. It would have given me a clearer sense of what to prioritise in family life and what is less important.

However, there were a few gems in this book even for the seasoned mum. There’s a bunch of really quick ideas for lunchbox contents that I never would have thought about. I now know how to make pretty pinwheel wrap sandwich thingys (although I clearly still don’t know what to call them).

And every mum should know that you can cut up an apple and then hold it together with a rubber band to stop it getting brown! I also liked the quick makeup tips. I’d never even heard of primer, the use of which apparently makes your makeup stay on better and longer.

So if you’re already a seasoned parent, this book might not change your life. But it is a well-written, amusing read that might add a few more tricks to your repertoire. Even better, buy it as a gift for a first time mum-to-be, and save her a bit of early morning googling.

Mum Hacks: Time-saving tips to calm the chaos of family life by Tanith Carey is available on Amazon in both paperback and Kindle versions. I received a gratis copy of the book for review purposes.

Tips for booking a short break to Disneyland Paris

I took my 2 and nearly-5 year old sons to Disneyland Paris during February half-term. It was a sort of birthday party for my eldest. I figured it would be much more fun and only slightly more expensive than inviting the whole class to a village hall for a couple of hours!

However, I had never been to Disneyland Paris before and I had no idea what I was doing. It was fine, but it turns out, if you’re only going to spend a few days in Disneyland Paris, you need to have a game plan. Otherwise, you’re going to be wandering around, getting stuck in crowds and queues, and end up wasting an awful lot of your time.

My time and money has already been wasted by my lack of preparation, but it’s not too late for you! Over the next few weeks I’m going to be sharing some tips I learned from experience to help you have a cheaper, more efficient, and more fun-filled trip to Disneyland Paris than I did. This first post focuses on the booking process, and you can come back later to hear more about organising your time in the parks, where to eat and where to stay.

Think hard about how long you can go

We chose a 3-night break mainly based on the fact it was cheaper than a 4-night break. But between recovering from our journey and just getting our bearings, I really do think we could have used that extra night. It was time to leave just as we were getting into the swing of things. So if you can possibly afford it, book 4 nights. It will probably only cost a couple hundred pounds more and will at least double your enjoyment of your break.

Consider the pros and cons of different accommodation

Well of course you COULD stay anywhere … you don’t have to stay at a Disney hotel. However, it is completely false economy to stay elsewhere. If you don’t stay in a Disney hotel, you will waste time travelling to and from the park, you will spend €20 per day on parking, and you won’t have access to Extra Magic Hours.

The Extra Magic Hours alone are worth staying in a Disney hotel. These allow you to enter the park at 8am, while the rest of the world can’t get in until 10am. I will explain in a future post just how valuable this privilege is if used in a shrewd fashion.

Any of the main Disney hotels that are walking distance from the park are a good choice. However, we stayed at Disney’s Davy Crockett Ranch. It has all of the perks of an official Disney hotel, but it’s a 15-minute drive away. It was by far the cheapest Disney hotel, and it was great for us because you stay in a static caravan with plenty of space for the family. I’ll write a further review of this hotel in a different post.

Booking the extras

At booking stage, Disney offers you a few things you can book in advance as part of your booking. They have different discount offers at different times, so there will be different bargains to be had at different times. Here’s my perspective on whether you should bother with some of these extras.

Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show

We didn’t actually go to this. The reason why is because we were there with a 2-year-old who almost certainly wouldn’t enjoy sitting still for a live show like this. You should definitely consider whether your kids would enjoy a show like this and whether they would cope for the 90 minutes of the show. However, I hear that children aged 3+ do enjoy it and that the food is pretty good.

Also be aware that unless you are being offered a special discount at booking stage, the only reason to book the show at the same time as booking your holiday is for convenience. You could either book directly through Disney at another time, or you may be able to find cheaper tickets through a third-party site.

Disney Photopass

The Photopass is a way of prepaying for any/all photos you get professionally taken with characters in the parks, or on the few rides where they snap you as you are on it. This is only worth the money if you are really into having pictures with Disney characters, and are happy to spend about 45 minutes queuing up for each character. For us, we would rather go on rides during our short time there. We did sign up for the pass and got precisely one decent photo of us all with Mickey, and a less than flattering picture of me on Buzz Lightyear’s ride. This was not good value for money for us!

Disney Character Breakfast at Cafe Mickey

Breakfast at Cafe Mickey is a perfect way to get pictures with lots of characters without the 45 minute queue per character. But these pictures are not included in the Photopass – you have to take them yourself. And the lighting is terrible. Also, the food at Cafe Mickey was THE WORST we had. It was a poor breakfast buffet touted as American, but there were no American pancakes or waffles. It just had dry French pastries, insipid soggy scrambled eggs and the usual French continental breakfast stuff (salami and cheese bits).

Plus, the atmosphere is atrocious. The cafeteria-like space reverberates with ear-splitting Disney adverts sporting that overly peppy instrumental background music. The restaurant is packed full to the brim with as many punters as possible, and there is a long queue for the food. I got yelled at by the restaurant staff when I tried to fill more than one plate of food at a time – so that I didn’t have to queue 3 times to feed my 2 kids and myself.

We had booked this as a special birthday breakfast for my son, and it nearly brought me to tears. I found it so disappointing. However, my son did love seeing all the characters. We had Mickey, Goofy, Smee from Peter Pan, The White Rabbit, and Pluto.

The people in the character suits were very kind. My son missed Pluto at first because he was going to the toilet when Pluto came to our table. But when Pluto saw my son crying, he came back and gave him an extra special cuddle. That absolutely saved the whole thing for me.

Disney meal plan

We had a standard full board meal plan included as part of our booking. It was a special offer. However, even if meal plans aren’t on special offer when you book, I highly recommend a meal plan. Even the buffet restaurants cost around £20/adult for a single meal, and generally on the meal plan that will cover an adult’s food for the entire day. Plus, you can also use the standard meal plan vouchers as a cash credit in restaurants not included on your plan.

Importantly, the buffets at Disneyland Paris are nice. I mean knock-me-over-with-creamy-patisserie nice. I generally hate buffets, and expected the Disney ones to be no different from those you find at cheap all-inclusive resorts in Benidorm. But the variety, type, and quality of the food everywhere we went (except Cafe Mickey) was amazing. I’ll write another post about the restaurants later.

There are a staggering and intimidating amount of different meal plans to choose from. I suggest checking out DLP Guide’s page for the clearest explanation.

Planning your transportation

If you aren’t into driving, you could take the Eurostar straight to Disneyland Paris. Disney even has a special service to help you with your luggage (if you’re staying at a Disney hotel). You could also take a plane, and even then rent a car from the airport if you like.

But my family loves to drive to our destinations. It’s so much easier to just throw all the crap in the car, and you can bring a lot more crap than you could without a car. If you decide to drive, you need to choose between taking a ferry across the Channel or the Eurotunnel train.

I highly recommend the Eurotunnel. It can sometimes be a bit more expensive than a ferry, but it is so much faster. Just 30 minutes and you are across the Channel. On our trip, we took the train there but took a ferry back because it was the cheaper option. The ferry got caught up in heavy fog and it took us over 4 hours to make our crossing. In future, it will be Eurotunnel for us every time.

But is it really worth it?

I’ll be honest with you. There are some people who are absolutely Disney addicts – adults who just love it and will put up with anything for the magical bits that you get. I like Disney, but I am not ardent about it. There is a lot about a Disney trip with young children that is purely exhausting. And when it comes to Disneyland Paris, it really isn’t as good as Disneyworld in Florida (sorry).

However, if you live in the UK and you have very small children, like we do, it is truly worth it. It’s much closer and cheaper than Paris – you wouldn’t be able to go all the way to Florida for just 3 nights. The trip wore me out and tested my patience, but my children were SO happy. The light in their eyes after each magical ride was worth every aching muscle I had later.

Pop back to my blog in the coming weeks for some more info on how to plan your time at the parks, where to eat and a review of where we stayed.

I know your innocent question wasn’t meant to hurt me…

…but a sibling for my son will just never be possible

A guest post by Suzy from Our Bucket List Lives

I spent over 4 years of my life trying for a baby. Hearing people ask: when were we going to have a baby and wouldn’t we like to have a child? That was tough back then for many reasons. Now I hear different questions nearly every week, and they hurt just as much. Such as “Is Jamie your only child?” or “Are you going to have another?”. They are totally innocent questions but sadly they hurt just as much.

I think it’s so easy for people who have conceived easily and naturally to not think that these sorts of questions could really upset some people. To you they are innocent questions, perhaps a bit of friendly chatter. But to so many these sorts of questions can cut so deep and hurt so much.

I’m sadly one of them. I normally mutter something about “Yes he is the only one”; “He’s more than enough”; blah blah blah. But I’m screaming inside. “Yes he’s the only one and yes I would just love a sibling for my precious miracle. But you know what, he was a miracle, and I couldn’t risk my life again. I certainly couldn’t risk him losing his Mummy to give him a sibling.”

We went through 4 rounds of IVF to conceive our precious boy. That’s quite enough for anyone to go through. To add to all this, I had an extremely complicated pregnancy, and I fell into the bracket of high risk when it was discovered that I had a placenta accreta.

Definition by Mayo Clinic Staff
“Placenta accreta is a serious pregnancy condition that occurs when blood vessels and other parts of the placenta grow too deeply into the uterine wall. Typically, the placenta detaches from the uterine wall after childbirth. With placenta accreta, part or all of the placenta remains firmly attached. This can cause severe blood loss after delivery. Placenta accreta is considered a high-risk pregnancy complication. If placenta accreta is suspected during pregnancy, you’ll likely need an early C-section delivery followed by the surgical removal of your uterus (hysterectomy).”

Scary stuff hey? But don’t worry; it happens in less than 1% of pregnancies. Yes, I was a rare “case”, and as the chances are super high that I’d get this again with another pregnancy, then the risks are just too much. You can’t really impart all this information to someone when they are asking you such innocent questions. Nor would I want to. Sadly, there’s so many women out there who have been through similar events. Not just having to have so many rounds of IVF for one baby, but who have gone through their pregnancy with such high risks that having another would just be impossible … and crazy!

So yes, I nearly died having Jamie. I lost a scary amount of blood and I was under general anaesthetic for 7 hours while they tried to make me well enough again. I didn’t meet our gorgeous son for 24 hours because I was so poorly, and the road to recovery was long and hard. The worst thing was that I never even saw my son come into this world because I was under anaesthetic. I wasn’t there for him when he needed me.

The last 4 weeks of my pregnancy were spent away from home – either in hospital because I was bleeding or in a hotel nearby in case of an emergency, as they basically wouldn’t let me go home because we lived too far away. When Jamie was born, we were both in hospital for 10 days after because I was so poorly and because of the strict observations they had me under.

This is why I could never give Jamie his much wanted sibling. I had always dreamed of having two kids. That’s how I lived my life. I have a brother 2 years younger than me and we played so much together when we were younger. I am ever aware that Jamie will never have this. Sad thing is, this isn’t just me and my story. There are thousands of stories out there. The couples who struggle to conceive at all and the couples who could never give their child a sibling.

In conclusion, I’m not saying you shouldn’t ask questions like this because, hey, it’s only human nature to be interested in others. Just take into account that perhaps for some people these questions could hurt more than you can imagine. We know you mean well.

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Blogging and not keeping my powder dry

I took a creative writing class recently. The teacher was wonderful, and I was lucky enough to lure her out for a couple of pints with me one evening. I obviously could not resist boring her with a mention of my blog at some point. My blog is entirely different from the sort of writing we were learning in her class.

She was teaching us to be more observant and to look at the world as a series of images. Instead of snapping the images with a smartphone and sticking them on Instagram, we practised turning those images into words. It was a different way of thinking about writing for me.

Being an avid reader and even a sort of literary critic (having a PhD in English Literature qualifies me for that, right?), I thought I really ought to know about fiction writing. But I don’t. I know how to read something and write a killer essay about what it means. The creative writing class has opened my eyes to thinking more about description, image and metaphor in my writing.

And now I am seeing it everywhere. The very best journalists are doing it. The critics and columnists that I admire are doing it. And I wish I could do it.

During this pint with my teacher, she asked me: “Isn’t blogging not keeping your powder dry?”. I didn’t know what she meant at first. She explained that writers often prefer to keep all their little darlings a secret until they’re ready to unleash them on the world in flamboyant fashion. You keep your gunpowder dry so that it makes a big explosion once you finally light it.

I didn’t answer her at the time. The conversation flowed away from the question. But I’ve been thinking about it since. And sometimes I see other bloggers in our secret (not that secret) blogger Facebook groups saying how they’ve lost their blogging mojo, they forgot why they love it, it feels like it’s all hustle and no creativity.

And it reminds me that I started blogging because I didn’t have any bloody gunpowder. I didn’t write creatively at all and I feared writing. My confidence in my creative writing skills had become so undermined at some point in the past that I couldn’t stand to look at my own writing. It made me cringe.

When I started blogging I decided to face these fears and say to hell with my lack of confidence. My husband always tells me that the best way to feel confident is to fake it until you feel it. His example is when you try to pour a drink from one glass to another. If you doubt yourself, it will spill everywhere. Pour it all at once with panache, and everything will be fine.

And so with blogging I’m not wetting my gunpowder but stockpiling it. I’m learning to write in public. I’m practising my craft whilst leaving myself exposed to the possibility that someone will openly tell me I’m crap. And it’s actually exhilarating. And far more likely to lead me to the sort of writing that might actually cause a commotion.

Letting your toddler smash your iPad

I’m going to go ahead and admit it: my kids each have their own iPad minis. And I shamelessly use them on long journeys, at restaurants, and even sometimes to get a few minutes peace at home.

My youngest is 2 and is fully skilled at using the Kid’s YouTube app to watch videos of full grown women playing with “In the Night Garden” toys. He watches someone play with a toy Ninky Nonk while he plays with his own toy Ninky Nonk. It’s Ninky Nonk inception.

But of course when you’ve got an expensive bit of kit like an iPad, you want to make sure it won’t be too easy for your toddler to break it. That just won’t be any fun for anyone. There are loads of iPad cases on the market, but it’s surprisingly hard to tell which one is best for protecting it from the rigours of toddler management.

We had a pretty robust iPad case that we’d been using, but there were several things I didn’t like about it. It didn’t have holes for all the buttons, and it was really hard to get it in and out of the case. The thing for propping it up for watching it was really unsteady too and it fell over all the time.

So I was pleased when I was sent the tech21 Evo Play case for testing.

As you can see, it comes in a lovely bright colour with a really attractive design. The handle props it up at a comfortable angle for watching it, or can be used for carrying it around. It has holes in all the right places so you can plug in headphones and a charger and easily press the power and volume buttons. It’s also easy to put the iPad into the case – you just sort of push it in without much struggle and it stays in.

The biggest drawback to the product is it is kind of heavy. I think it might have doubled the weight of the iPad. But the 2yo can still carry it around just fine.

It makes up for its weight by the very robustness of the material. You can wipe it clean and if it gets really dirty, you can stick it in the dishwasher.

Years ago my eldest was sick all over his iPad and we could not get rid of the stench on the cover from just wiping it down. Finally, we tried putting it in the washing machine because we decided it was either that or the bin, so we had nothing to lose. It did vaguely survive the washing machine, but it’s great to know that we can dishwash this case with no worries about ruining it.

But the boldest claim of this case is that you can drop it from a height of 2 meters / 6.6ft and your screen will not crack. I personally don’t feel it would be a thorough product review unless I tested this bold claim. So, please view my lovely YouTube video below, in which I drop my iPad in the Evo Play case unceremoniously onto my kitchen floor.

As you can see, the case has passed my rigorous product test. I even had to drop it more than once because I am crap at making YouTube videos. And I hope you didn’t look too hard at the background. I didn’t do the washing up because I was too busy blogging.

Disclosure: I received the product in exchange for this review but it’s all my honest words above.

Mindfulness and coping with grief

Trigger warning: the topics of losing a loved one and teenaged death are discussed in this post.

I am going through a tough time at the moment. My grandmother, who raised me in my early years, is very ill. She is unresponsive in hospital, and it’s looking like I’ll never get to speak to her again. So although she is not completely gone yet, I am already missing her. I will probably be writing a few posts about my grief and in tribute to her when the time is right. In the meantime, I asked the wonderful Hayley from Mission: Mindfulness – the blog to share some thoughts on how to cope when we lose someone who means the world to us. Hayley’s thoughts here are helping me every moment that I wish I could hear my grandmother’s voice on the phone.

A guest post by Hayley from Mission: Mindfulness: the blog

Dear Reader,

Nicole wrote to me a few weeks ago asking me to write a guest post for The Mum Reviews blog. Nicole is a blogger buddy of mine who I didn’t want to let down, and I was honoured to be asked. I really wanted to write something that fitted with her remit of mindfulness and suffering a loss, yet I was fearful of writing such an important post. I am certainly no therapist and not an expert in grief management, but said I’d have a think and get back to her. And then yesterday I knew what I wanted to write, so here it is.

********
Today was the usual busy morning at our house. Porridge being served. Bread being toasted. The radio blaring out. The kids were, well, just being kids really …

And then suddenly an unexplained and unanticipated sadness hit me – coming from what seemed like nowhere. I was transported to a different place and time. But, as I tuned into the song on the radio, I recognised what was going on. Oasis’s “Masterplan” had started to play. My chest felt like I’d been squeezed too tightly in a big, unsolicited hug, and my eyes prickled in the familiar sensation I feel when tears are close.

Although nearly 20 years ago, the power of music was able to vividly remind me of a tragic event. A time when the fragility of life became palpable to me.

The time when my older sister’s boyfriend was suddenly taken from the world in a tragic car accident.

We’d all had a fabulous summer – working and playing together. It was the era of Britpop, and some of us were enjoying the twilight of our teenage years, while others were embarking on the beginning of their 20s. I recall the new Oasis album had been playing A LOT as we drove around the country roads of Lincolnshire, causing great debate. Some of us loved it – Adam, my sister’s boyfriend, being one. Others of the group were not so sure.

That I remembered all of this as if it were yesterday is testament to how powerful music can be. At that moment, the sadness of losing Adam seemed as raw as it had at the end of the 90s.

And yet Adam had not been my sweetheart. Nor my son. Nor my grandson. Nor my brother. Nor my best friend. And so I can only begin to imagine how many times, and how intensely, this happens to people who were these things to him. And as my thoughts overtake me, whisking me away from my residual feelings, I wonder: how did they cope?

Of course it would be crude to speak of a hierarchy of grief. Yet in reality it seems that the rawest of emotions come when a person is taken from us too young. By this I don’t just mean someone of a similar age, or younger, to the beautiful Adam, but even someone much, much older who still also seems to have so much life and living left. That sense of injustice and anger which mixes with the deep sadness of the grief must be an almost overpowering blend of emotions. Understandably these can lead to very dark thoughts.

Until recently it has seemed the norm in our culture – in keeping with the idea of the British “stiff upper lip” – not to allow these thoughts and emotions to consume us. Rather, to distance ourselves from them as quickly as possible, to distract ourselves, or worse still for our “inner critic” to take over and berate us for not “coping” as we perceive we should.

Instead, Rumi, the 13^th century Muslim poet (much quoted on Mindfulness courses and retreats) offers a different perspective. The suggestion is to allow these feelings and thoughts to freely come and freely go. Without judgement.

To be with them for a moment or two. If that feels okay at that particular moment in time. To view these thoughts and feelings as passing guests and treat them accordingly.

This principle, so important to mindfulness, is eloquently described in Rumi’s poem The Guest House.

The Guest House

Translated by Coleman Barks

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Wishing all who are going through difficult times at the moment much love.
Hayley xx

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Running to help vulnerable children

It is perhaps unoriginal to say that the suffering of others is upsetting to me. But becoming a mum has turned me into an absolute mess when I hear sad stories. I can’t watch any of those big charity fundraising programmes on TV because I just sob all the way through.

When I read the paper on the train to work, I’m often fighting back tears. It’s not that I didn’t have empathy before I had kids, but now that I do, that empathy is visceral.

When someone loses their child, I feel the fear of losing my own child.

When someone loses their parent, I think how much the idea of not being there for my own children worries me.

When children are lost, abused, broken, I think of the sweet innocence of my own children and how brutal it would be if that was torn from them.

Children are living in war zones, watching their families being murdered as they run away to escape their own death, rape or enslavement. Children whose families have lost their homes through debt are living in filthy hostels full of drug dealing and despair. Children are living rough to escape abuse at home. Children are sacrificing their childhoods to look after parents who are unable to look after them.

It’s easy to feel helpless when faced with the world’s violence, hatred and despair. I can only find my way through this by resolving to make some small contribution whenever I have the means or opportunity. So when The Children’s Society asked me to support them by doing a 10K in support of their charity and then blogging about it, I saw a great opportunity to help disadvantaged children whilst doing something healthy for me too.

Last year, The Children’s Society worked with over 18,000 vulnerable children and young people, and their campaign wins will bring life-changing support to more than 5.6 million children. I’m not that keen on running to be honest and never thought I would do a 10K. But it’s very motivating to know that by doing something that will improve my health, I will be playing a small part in improving other people’s lives as well.

If you’d like to know more about The Children’s Society and my training plans, please check out this little YouTube video.

How you can help

If you want to support me, the best (and completely free) thing you can do is to share this post on social media.

If you would like to donate to The Children’s Society in support of my 10K run, you can do it on my JustGiving page.

If you would like to get involved in your own charity challenge, check out The Children’s Society’s challenge page.