Teaching your kids kindness

My eldest son is 5 and what I have realised is that teaching him to be kind is not always easy. It teaches you a lot about human nature to have children. Although they are loving and innocent, they also can be very selfish. Which of course in terms of our evolutionary psychology makes perfect sense. Survival of the fittest! Look after number 1!

I have to work very hard to teach him how to be considerate of others feelings. I don’t feel I can offer him rewards for being kind and considerate, because then he would do it for the wrong reason. I have to teach him that the feeling of being kind to others is enough.

My main strategy is to praise him profusely whenever I see him being kind. I try to notice when he shares something, or comforts his little brother when he cries. I also try to chat with him when I see someone else doing something kind, and explain why it was a nice thing to do.

So I was very interested when a small start-up company offered to send me some of their Good Egg cards. These cards have a series of good deeds on them, and you can set yourself the challenge of doing as many as possible. They are aimed at older children (13+), and some of them are a bit silly, but I found them quite useful as a conversation starter with my 5 year old. He loves playing with cards, so I let him pick a card out of the deck at random and then we had a chat about the good deed on the card.

The first card he picked said you should give blood. Obviously my 5yo is too young to be donating blood, but it was an interesting topic to discuss with him. I explained why people need to receive blood, why it is important that people donate blood when they can, and how the process works.

Another card says to take your old books to a charity shop. So I was able to chat with him about how charity shops work and why it is nice to let others have things that you no longer need. On top of teaching about kindness, it was also a useful way of increasing his general understanding of the world.

The way in which we all function in society is dependent upon an understanding of how our actions affect the people around us. Unfortunately, in the real world, not everyone remembers that – even sometimes those people who have quite a lot of power to change the world for the better. Remembering to teach our children kindness is one way that parents can make their small contribution, in the hope that the next generation will seek to help instead of win.

I receive the cards for the purposes of review but all opinions and thoughts are my own.

There are more things in heaven and earth

This is a ghost story.

I had a rotten day last Monday. I was leaving for a work trip the next day and I had so much to do. Packing, cleaning, trying to fit in some exercise, and of course looking after my kids. I also had an unfortunate conversation with someone who made me feel like an idiot and really knocked my confidence. And I was feeling guilty because the work trip meant that I was going to miss my 5yo’s first sports day at big school. He also had a bad day at school that day and was upset when I picked him up.

After dinner, I collapsed on the sofa to cuddle up with my kids until it was time for the bedtime routine. I suddenly had a terrible feeling. An aching and heaviness spreading from my shoulders, across my back and down my legs. I shortly found myself running to the loo. I had some sort of stomach bug. Perfect. Perfect timing.

That evening I had booked myself a manicure. My manicurist comes to my house after the kids are in bed, sorts out my nails and is very good company in the process. I had been looking forward to it all day, but now I was ill I needed to cancel it. Worse, it happened so soon before she was meant to come that I had to turn her away at the door. Another embarrassment for the day.

And so, feeling downtrodden and physically ill, I removed the peeling shellac from my nails myself, leaving them as plain and stripped down as I felt. It was times like this that I normally would have called my grandma, who died in April. She would always listen to me unload all of my fears and heartaches and worries on her, with no judgement, and with no feeling that I was imposing on her. I felt very lonely indeed when I reached for the phone for the millionth time since she died, and stopped short, when I realised there was no one on the other end.

I called a friend instead, cried, and went to bed. Sleep was not forthcoming given the need to constantly rush to the bathroom, but over a course of hours, I eventually fell into a fitful sleep.

My dreams were normal at first, not exceptional. But then I woke up. I thought I woke up. The view I saw was the door to my bedroom, the bedside table, the light switch – the same as always. But then someone started to walk into the room. I couldn’t see who it was in the dark.

I was scared. Who was coming into my room in the middle of the night? My husband was in bed next to me, fast asleep. I tried to scream but at first I couldn’t. With a massive effort I finally managed to make a noise – a weak “aaahh” “aaahh” that sounded more real than the image I was seeing.

As the figure continued to approach my bed, I thought that it was actually someone I knew. It started to feel less menacing. I thought it might be my next door neighbour, but I couldn’t figure out why she would be coming into my room.

The figure sat down on my bed, and suddenly I began to see her shape. Soft grey curly hair, giant glasses. She grasped my hands and suddenly I knew. “Is it Grandma?” I said, talking in my sleep. It was her. “Grandma!” I spoke again, aloud, joyful.

Then, a stroke on my arm from my husband, and I was awake, and she was gone.

My husband was only half awake so I just told him I had a weird dream and to go back to sleep. But it wasn’t just a weird dream. It was powerful. I know that I talked aloud in my sleep – that is why I woke my husband – and it is not something I normally do. I was aware of struggling to speak as the dream was happening.

I had been in that twilight state between dreaming and awake, and my Grandma’s face and the clasp of her hands had felt oh so real. It was not like a normal dream where pictures and scenes run through your head, you may talk but it’s more like watching a movie of yourself than actually being you. In this dream, I was self-aware and everything I experienced was palpable.

So what actually was it?

A ghost? A dream? An illness-fuelled hallucination? Or was it really her?

I’ve been wishing to dream about her since she died. Not the sort of dream I had. Just a normal one, to see her alive and healthy again. But she’s been conspicuous by her absence from my dreams. Perhaps because of her prominence in my waking thoughts.

I’ve read some “woo-woo” websites about ghostly sleep visitations and lost loved ones. These sorts of experiences are not all that uncommon. And the biggest thing they have in common is that the person who experiences it cannot simply dismiss it.

Perhaps it was just a dream. But in my heart I think that it was really her. Coming to see me when I needed her.

This post may seem someone off-topic to my blog, but really it isn’t. Because my blog is about family. Whether my grandmother really visited me in some intentional ghostly way or whether it all came from my own mind actually doesn’t matter. What matters is the way it made me feel. Safe, not alone, important. This is what mothers do for their children.

My grandma was the only mother I ever knew, and though I always knew that I would have years of life without her, she is with me still. Earlier that day, my loss had felt bigger than big, but my dream reminded me that whatever force had bound us together in life can never be broken by death.

Sick kids and bacteria bouncers (Bio-Kult giveaway)

*Sponsored Post*

Nothing makes my heart sink and stomach turn more than waking to that sound in the night. The bleurggh wahhhh noise. The sound of a young child puking. There are a few things that I can guarantee you at this point:

  • You will not be sleeping much for the rest of this night
  • You will be doing a lot of washing
  • You will want to help your little, but there isn’t much to do but ride it out

Equally heart-sinking are the coughing and hacking noises, followed by inconsolable crying, followed by panicked trips to the doctor or even the hospital, to end up with the dreaded antibiotics for tonsillitis or some other nasty infection.

Luckily, the worst of these bugs usually passes with a bit of perseverance and a lot of wet wipes. But often the dregs of the illness linger for quite some time. After a tummy bug, it takes a while for my kids’ to be back to normal, and often a course of antibiotics can fix the infection but bring on some unfortunate tummy-related symptoms.

At these times, I often load my kids up with as much yogurt as they can eat, because I think the “good bacteria” in the yogurt will help their tiny guts get back to normal faster. But recently I found out about a product that I can use instead of yogurt, that gets the job done faster and more thoroughly. Enter Bio-Kult Infantis.

Does Bio-Kult actually work?

Bio-Kult Infantis is a scientifically developed, advanced formula for babies, toddlers and young children, which contains 7 strains of probiotic “good” bacteria. In the party that is your child’s digestive system, these are like the really burly, yet handsome, bouncers. They kick out the baddies (the bad bacteria) and stop new baddies getting in. I’m a sucker for the Vin Diesel look. But I digress…

The specific blend of good bacteria in Bio-Kult has demonstrated positive outcomes in a number of clinical trials, for example in reducing diarrhoea from gastroenteritis, among other things. Look, I have some charts and graphs:

IMG_20170626_210120

Bio-Kult’s literature is full of footnotes citing an ever-growing, peer-reviewed, body of published research on the efficacy of probiotics in improving or even preventing a number of conditions. And they can also provide impressive documentation on their own research into the product’s efficacy.

So when should I use Bio-Kult?

As you can tell by my introduction to this post, I would be most likely to give this product to my kids for a boost after they’ve been ill, especially if they’ve been on antibiotics, which can kill good bacteria as well as bad. But there are lots of other uses:

  • It can be given regularly as a preventative boost to the immune system, and has been shown the improve conditions such as eczema in young children.
  • It can be given for an immune boost when you know your little one is going to face a challenge, such as when going on holiday or starting nursery.
  • Studies have also shown that Bio-Kult Infantis can help with cases of colic in infants.

The product has been proven safe for use with children from birth, but if you have any doubts, of course you should check with your GP.

Win a goody box with Lenny the Lamb comforter

If you would like to try out Bio-Kult Infantis, please enter this competition for a chance to win this goody box with a product sample including instructions, a Lenny the Lamb comforter and keyring, a cute muslin and a pen.

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Click here to enter the Rafflecopter giveaway

Giveaway terms & conditions

  • This competition will open on 28 June and will close on 13 July at 12am GMT.
  • One winner will be selected at random.
  • The winner will receive the Lenny the Lamb goody box pictured above.
  • UK entrants only.
  • No cash alternative will be offered.
  • The winner will be announced on The Mum Reviews’ social media outlets, not the blog.
  • The winner will have 28 days to respond to their winner’s email.

Listed on The Competition Database and Loquax.

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

Take all your problems & rip ’em apart

Take all your problems

And rip ’em apart

Carry them off

In a shopping cart

Be like the squirrel, girl

Be like the squirrel

– “Little Acorns” by The White Stripes

It’s not a well-known song, but “Little Acorns” by The White Stripes is a song to live your life by. It tells the story of Janet, who has been having a tough time lately. But as she’s walking one day, she sees a squirrel storing up nuts for winter. She notices the way the squirrel brings the nuts to her nest one at a time, and eventually manages to store up as much as she needs.

Clever Janet sees this as a metaphor, and realises that if she takes the “one acorn at a time” approach to her problems, they will be more manageable.

Okay, so it’s sort of a silly song. A hard rock riff and an entreaty to be like the squirrel. And it also might be something that we all already know implicitly. Of course it makes sense to break problems into smaller pieces to make them more manageable. But knowing something doesn’t mean we always do it.

So what are the problems that sometimes overwhelm us, and how can we “be like the squirrel”? Here are some situations where being like the squirrel has helped me.

 

Grief

Regular readers of this blog will know that I keep banging on about the death of my grandmother, who brought me up in my early years. It’s been a couple months now but sometimes I’m still suffocated by sadness and I just miss her so much. I had read about it before, but now I know firsthand, that grief never really goes away. Some days are better than others. Let each moment of grief be it’s own little acorn that you acknowledge. I’ve been allowing myself to feel sad when it happens, rather than trying to just carry on, even though that sometimes seems like what everyone expects.

Work

I work part-time but I’m pretty sure I’m still doing a full-time job and then some. I never, ever get to the bottom of my to-do list and sometimes I worry that I’m not keeping up well enough and I’ll get in trouble. But actually, everyone is just as busy as me in my office, and we’re all doing our best. So I just take one small task at a time. And I try not to multi-task, because that is a way of doing lots of work but never finishing anything.

Money

I also, like most normal people, do not have as much money as I would like. I have a lot of bills, like childcare, to keep up with. And I’m not very good at budgeting or saving. If I try to impose an austerity regime on myself, I’m going to (a) be miserable and (b) fail at it anyway.

So my acorn approach is to just think a little harder about each time I want to do something that costs money. How much do I really want/need this thing? Is there a way of doing it cheaper? And each time I manage to save some money by thinking it through, that is a small success.

My house is a tip

This is one that I get pretty stressed about. We have too many toys, but it hurts my heart to get rid of things that were loved when my children were smaller! Am I the only one who gets sentimental about brightly coloured plastic?

Sometimes I start planning to get organised, but am discouraged by the enormity of the task. One thing cascades into another until I just don’t know where to start. Saying I would just do one job becomes just as difficult as trying to do it all at once.

So I’ve started taking a more novel approach and applying complete and utter blinkers to certain bits of mess. Instead of focusing on doing small jobs that might ultimately add up to a tidy house (neeever gonna happen), I just focus on the things that really need keeping up with. The dresser near the front door always gets piled up with loads of random crap. Fine, I’m ignoring it. But I’m going to keep up with the washing. Sort of.

I wish I had more close friends

Becoming a mum changes your social life forever. I used to constantly be with friends, and I had a different friend for every situation. I could call up my “going to the theatre friend”, my “going on holiday” friend, or my drinking buddy. When I had my kids, I grew apart from some of these friends, either because they had kids too and also had no time, or because we were now living such different lifestyles.

I have found it difficult to make mum friends in my local area, and only have a couple ladies who I consider real friends and not just acquaintances. I sometimes feel pretty depressed that I can’t find a group of friends to hang out with at a moment’s notice, or even just that I feel so socially awkward  and isolated among groups of mums on the school run.

But you know what, it doesn’t even matter. Quality over quantity. I’m putting more energy into the little acorns I’ve already collected (the genuine, proven friends). And every time I feel awkward on the school run, I’m just going to carry on saying hello to people even when they don’t respond, and smiling at them all like some sort of maniac.

I’m a shouty sweary mum

When I get stressed or worried or upset or hurt, I shout and swear. That is my reaction. It’s something I’m working on. But I still sometimes step on a bloody lego brick and then turn the air blue in front of my children.

Or when my 5yo is completely ignoring my entreaties for him to stop chewing on a fidget spinner before he chokes on it, and the 10th time I ask him I shout, FOR GOD’S SAKE STOP CHEWING ON THAT BLOODY THING OR YOU’LL END UP IN HOSPITAL!

I am aware that this is not ideal parenting. Judge me as you will.

But I’ve also gotten better and better at showing more empathy with my children. When they get upset about something like misplacing a small plastic junky toy, or because one brother knocked over the other’s tower, I’ve learned to say “I’m sorry honey, I know you worked hard on that tower”. Instead of what I’m thinking, which is “get the f**k over it already”.

So every acorn of positive parenting, every time I offer some extra praise, is one to add to the pile that is making up for the fact that my eldest definitely knows all the swears and how to use them. I’m also working on replacing my swears with rubbish replacement words too. Like “oh FFFidget spinners” or “GoddaaaaarNit”.

Do life’s little problems sometimes get you down? What problems could you add to this list, and how do you deal with them? Here is the song, btw:

Tammymum
The Pramshed

Tired eyes, high BMI and loving every inch

Someone quite close to me sent me a rather rude email the other day, stating their disapproval of a photograph of me that I’ve posted on social media. This one: Me

When asked what was wrong with it, I was told that I “look tired” in it. My initial response, understandably, was to feel hurt. My next response was to send a snarky email back with an equally rude comment about that person’s appearance in a recent photograph. Not very mature of me.

I wrote again to apologise for responding so rudely, and pointed out that this person hasn’t seen me in the flesh for a while, and that I now “look tired” all the time. You see, the thing is, I have these things called kids, and they like to wake me up several times in the night before waking for good at the crack of dawn.

Then I often have to carry on and go to work the next day because, you know, I have a mortgage. Or I spend the whole day looking after my sweet sleep-stealers and catering to their every need. If I have any time to spare between work and childcare, I try and do a bit of exercise, or clean my house, or have a social life, or I blog a bit because it makes me feel happier when I’m sad or stressed.

If this person had seen a full-length picture of me, they no doubt would have commented upon the size of my arse as well. I’m well aware that my youngest is two-and-a-half and I haven’t “lost the baby weight”. I have some clothes in my wardrobe that I’m still hoping will fit me again some day.

So we’ve established that I’m tired and overweight. And when I look in the mirror, or hear/read someone’s cruel comment, I’m reminded that by society’s standards, I’m not the hottest thing going. Perhaps my milkshake wouldn’t bring all the boys to the yard.

But then again … maybe it would. Because I think I look better than I ever have in my whole life. Wrinkles, grey hairs, stretch marks, cellulite thighs and all. And that’s saying a lot because I fit the society bill when I was 21:

Nicole in Seattle 2001

I was young once and effortlessly thin. But when I look at old pictures of myself I think “what a waste” because I was beautiful but I didn’t appreciate it. I see a girl who was desperately insecure. Who didn’t appreciate her flat stomach because the skin still bunched into folds when I sat down (now I know the only way to stop that is to have no skin, or Photoshop). Who didn’t appreciate her cellulite-free thighs because she was all stressed out about how to remove every trace of hair from them. Who despaired of a head of hair that stubbornly refused to emulate that of a Disney princess.

I also see a young woman who was actually pretty selfish a lot of the time. Who was astoundingly ignorant of the world around her. Who would call in sick to work at the drop of a hat. Hey, former self … there is no such thing as a sick day when you have kids around. Prepare yourself!

But this post is not about bashing my former self. Except to point out that youth is utterly wasted on the young. I can’t necessarily be blamed for my former insecurities, but I can learn a lesson from them.

Because when I look in the mirror now, I really, truly like the way I look. I love my tired eyes.

There are little lines around my eyes from selfless nights of caring for my little ones when they were sick. There are lines from mourning for lost loved ones. There are lines from stress and worry.

But there are other little lines around my eyes from fun nights out with my friends. There are lines from laughing with my husband and kids. Those tired eyes have watched my babies grow up. When I look at them, I see someone who I am proud to be and who knows her worth.

I still don’t have Disney princess hair, but I have hair that is easy to style and that makes me feel confident and professional. I chose this hair after years of being too insecure to have it cut shorter than shoulder length, and now I’ve finally done what I want, I love it.

My stomach sports a healthy shelf of fat hanging over my c-section scar, liberally decorated with silvery stretch marks. Above, my breasts don’t quite point skywards like they once did. But they still look pretty darn good to me. I used those breasts to feed my babies. That stomach carried them for 9 months.

And when I put my hands on my own body, it feels like a woman’s body. It’s the body of someone who loves to eat and drink and have fun and I wouldn’t trade a single moment of that enjoyment for a flat stomach. It’s part of who I am today and I like that person.

So the next time someone makes you feel small for the way you look, remember the journey that took you there. And if you love the life you live and the person you are, then whatever body you have is part of that.

So next time you look in the mirror, find the love lines, the laugh lines, the great night down the pub folds, the cuddling my baby while eating biscuits wobbles. And just love every inch of yourself.

The Pramshed
Tammymum

Slow-cooked Mexican shredded beef recipe

When we get into the early parts of summer, I start to get really lazy and fall out of love with being in the kitchen. It’s hot. I don’t want to be hotter. I haven’t built up my tolerance for warm weather and so I abandon the cooker. I usually end up with lots of grilled food and salads, fresh fruit desserts and sweet corn on the cob. But there’s always the allure of roasted, stewed and baked foods that require a modicum of sweat equity, as it were, if you want to cook for yourself and avoid breaking the budget with takeaways. Enter the crock pot: a delightful convenience that also works magic on meats with the low and slow method.

I used to think it couldn’t be that important to sear meats before putting them in the crock, but for the sake of one dish dirtied, it’s completely worth the additional flavor. The secret to searing is to just leave it alone; place a steak or piece of poultry onto the pan and don’t even think about wiggling it for a couple of minutes at least. It really does make all the difference to the depth of flavor, even after all of the spices added. I use a jar of salsa verde to cover the meat, but if you can’t find green salsa, you can use any tomato-based salsa that you love to the same effect. I add dry spices towards the end of the recipe to taste, based on the flavor of the beef and salsa, after a few hours. Each salsa is unique, so it will flavour the beef in its own right; however, it’s mostly used for the acidity in the tomatoes, which help to break down the beef and keep it super tender.

This is a favorite when steak is on sale. I know I can make it last for many more meals than 6 steak dinners, and the kids will eat it once it’s wrapped in a burrito. I’ll usually make my refried beans to go with this (early in the morning if it’s a scorcher), but you can have a lovely meal with just this beef in a wrap, over a salad, or topping nachos. I used a healthy portion of the shredded beef to make enchilada casserole when my parents came over for dinner: an easy layering of corn tortillas, beef, refried beans, cheese and enchilada sauce. My husband routinely puts the cold beef on a sandwich for lunch, and I’ve been known to toss some into my scrambled eggs. The versatility is endless, and it’s just incredibly delicious. Hope you love it!

Slow-cooked Mexican shredded beef

You’ll need:

  • 4 to 6 good-sized lean steaks, your favourite cut (or whatever is on sale)
  • ½ teaspoon garlic powder
  • ½ teaspoon ground black pepper
  • ½ teaspoon cumin powder
  • ½ teaspoon paprika
  • 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
  • 1 24oz jar of salsa verde (or salsa of choice)
  • ½ teaspoon smoked paprika, to taste
  • ½ teaspoon chili powder, to taste (I like chipotle powder)
  • ½ teaspoon cumin powder, to taste
  • Up to 2 teaspoons salt, to taste
  • Up to 1 teaspoon granulated/caster sugar, to taste
  • ½ cup rough cut, fresh coriander/cilantro, to taste

The method:

Allow your steaks to come to room temperature and dust (dry rub) with the dry spices listed on the first half of the list.

Warm your pan and the oil before adding the steaks for searing. Avoid moving the steaks to allow a good colour to develop, usually 2 to 3 minutes on each side.

steaks in pan

Layer the seared steaks into the crock pot with the salsa, coating the bottom of the crock pot with about 1/3 of the jar of salsa and the remainder over the top of the steaks.

salsa verde

Seal the lid and allow the steaks to stew on high for 4–6 hours. You’ll barely have to look at this until a couple of hours in, when you might want to stir the steaks a bit to make sure everything’s covered.

beef in crock pot

After 3–4 hours, when you get the chance, take two forks and try to pull some of the steaks into smaller pieces. Don’t worry if it still seems a bit tough – just cover it up again and try after another hour. Once it’s easy to pull the meat apart with two forks, go ahead and shred up as much as you like, leaving larger pieces for texture according to your preference.

There should be plenty of beef stock and salsa remaining after 4–5 hours, so that it’s covering the meat in a runny sauce. Taste the sauce to see what you’ve created with your chosen salsa. If you love it as is, leave the sauce to reduce a bit and you’re done. If you want to vamp it up a bit, now’s your chance. I add the second half of the list of dry spices while there’s still a fair bit of liquid, to ensure it’s incorporated. I enjoy the smokiness of chipotle powder and smoked paprika added at the end, and sugar to taste to enhance the spice.

It couldn’t be easier, but you can make this your own by try different salsas, adding shredded carrots and onions, or upping the heat index with fresh chili. Any way you shred it, it’s gonna be a winner.

Keeping track of your health for busy parents

From time to time on this blog, you will get to catch incredibly fascinating glimpses into the wild days of my teens. Oh yes, we were craze-ay.

I gather that many English teens spend their free time in parks drinking really rough booze straight out of the bottle. But I do wonder how the “geeky”, “goody-goody” ones – more like me, perhaps – get their thrills. I grew up in the USA, and while I gather that some of my classmates might have been living it up with Budweiser and bongs, my friends and I didn’t. We didn’t drink or do drugs at all. We got our thrills from hanging out at malls.

Our favourite one, for the warm days of summer, was a sort of open air one. We would go to the garden centre and put our hands in the birdseed (you should try it sometime; it feels nice). We would push each other round on the giant trolleys you’re supposed to use to transport your giant potted plants, until the staff would yell at us and we would run away giggling. And we would hang out in the pharmacy, taking our blood pressure and trying out all the free beauty product samples.

So when I recently attended the LloydsPharmacy Showcase, it kind of reminded me of the crazy carefree days of my youth. It was actually a small exhibition of all of the fantastic free services that LloydsPharmacy offers, along with a selection of some of their health and beauty products. All of this was presented in a lovely central London venue complete with smoothies, prosecco and canapes.

My regular readers will know that this blog is just as much about parental health and wellbeing as it is about the business of being a parent. If your health isn’t up to scratch, it’s difficult to do all the things you want to do with your kids. But at the same time, it can be difficult to find time to check on your health concerns, when you’re busy with your kids all the time.

That’s why I’m sharing this information about LloydsPharmacy, which offers some free time-saving services that can help you check whether your health is ticking along okay and help you deal with those niggling ailments or inconvenient routine doctor visits.

You might not be aware that LloydsPharmacy offers such services as:

  • Type 2 diabetes check
  • Asthma treatment & advice
  • Blood pressure testing
  • Pain management service
  • Skin analysis service
  • Online Doctor service

I got to try out or talk to people about all of these different services at the event. All of them (except the online doctor) are totally free, and you can book an appointment in advance or just pop into one of the larger stores when it suits you (although you might have to wait or come back later if it’s busy). Here is a little run-down of some of the services I learned about.

Type 2 diabetes test

It was kind of funny having a diabetes test with a glass of prosecco in my hand. You might not be aware that the way they test for this is by pricking your finger with a special little machine and then testing a small drop of your blood for sugar levels. Mine came out a bit higher than recommended, but it was probably down to the prosecco and the fruit smoothie I’d downed shortly beforehand. If you had a high result during normal circumstances, they recommend you come and try again after having fasted for an hour or more, to make sure it wasn’t just something you ate rather than a real blood sugar issue. If it turns out there is cause for concern, they can counsel you on what to do next.

Asthma treatment & advice

I don’t have asthma but the gentleman who was talking at this section of the exhibition was very interesting and knowledgeable. I was not aware that many people use their asthma inhalers incorrectly, by breathing in the medicine short and sharp instead of more slowly. Doing it the wrong way means that less medicine absorbs into your system. The Lloyds asthma guy had all sorts of neat contraptions that could tell you whether you’re taking your medicine correctly, and other contraptions that could help you improve your technique or perhaps just be more comfortable for you to use.

Blood pressure testing

You can pop into Lloyds anytime to have a quick check if you are wondering whether you have healthy blood pressure. Another feature of this service is that it can work in tandem with their online doctor service to help you get your contraceptives without having to go to the GP’s office. You have your online consultation with the doctor, and then pop into the pharmacy so they can make sure your blood pressure is at a safe level for your type of contraception.

Pain management service

This is designed for people who have either short-term extreme (acute) pain, such as headaches or a sprained ankle, or longer term (chronic) pain lasting more than 12 weeks. You can book a private one-to-one consultation with a pharmacist who will take you through a “pain control test”, which will help them give you personalised recommendations as well as ongoing support for managing your pain.

Skin analysis service

I got to try this out during the event as well – it really was a bit of fun if nothing else! There is a machine with a little probe that they run along different parts of your face, and it measures how dry your skin is, how much sebum it produces, and what its pH is. All of this info then feeds into a personalised recommendation as to the types of skin care products you could use to improve your skin. For example, I have very dry skin (apparently), and they recommended a gentle cleansing milk instead of the exfoliating scrub I currently use. It was a neat way to think about what products you use and if they are the best ones for you.

Online Doctor service

This service is great if you are very busy and find it difficult to get to the GP for routine prescription refills, or for minor “embarrassing bodies” type ailments. There is a small charge for this service. As mentioned earlier, you can use it as a convenient way to get your contraceptives re-prescribed, or you could have a consultation about other sexual health concerns. If you are already prescribed certain routine medications for high blood pressure, high cholesterol or for controlling blood sugar, the online doctor can sort out your repeat prescription. You can also get a free assessment if you are going travelling and not sure which vaccines you might need.

Looking after yourself

I think it’s really easy to ignore minor ailments or bury your head in the sand about potential common health issues such as high blood pressure, but it’s great to know that there is a free (or very affordable in the case of the online doctor) service that can make it easier for you to get help and look after yourself. This can free up your time for doing what you want to do, and free up your mind from worrying, so you can be the sort of parent you want to be.

Do you ever wonder about your health but don’t want to “bother” the GP? Did you know that you could do all this stuff at the pharmacy?

Disclosure: I was invited to the LloydsPharmacy Showcase and did drink a fair amount of their prosecco, but I was not required to write this post. I’m doing it just because I want to and all opinions are my own. 

The Pramshed

5 tips for a healthy recovery after having a baby

A guest post by Raunak Karim, who blogs for psysci, a psychology and science blog that examines the latest research in mental health and explains how findings can impact and improve people’s lives.

The new baby is here! Panic stations engaged. Do we have everything ready? Is he or she a healthy baby? What does the baby need us to do right now?

Wait! Stop.

We all get so focused on the new, little life that we often forget mum also needs some TLC after having a baby. Having a baby can be one of the most physically traumatic experiences for a woman to go through. Bits stretch and tear, things elongate which really shouldn’t and don’t forget the soup of hormones that churns through you before, during and after the birth. However, these five simple tips will go a long way in helping you have a healthy, happy recovery.

Hydrate

Dehydration can seriously weaken an already fatigued body. To the mum who’s just completed the physical marathon of childbirth, hydration is so important. The body’s fluid levels will be severely depleted postnatally, and are likely to diminish further as lactation begins. To restore fluid levels, plain water should be readily consumed, and diuretics such as caffeine avoided where possible (although sometimes your need for caffeine might be your top priority!). Increasing your fluid levels will help alleviate constipation issues and work to ensure sufficient fluid levels are retained when lactation begins.

Nutrition

Along with adequate and quality fluid intake, careful selection of nutritious meals are vital for a healthy recovery. Protein-rich foods and foods with high fibre content should be sought, along with a good multivitamin rich in B and D groups. Prior planning is recommended to prepare and freeze meals before childbirth and have them readily available for when you’re weak and in need of good nutrition. Good nutrition is imperative for both breastfeeding and formula feeding mums, in order to recover from the childbirth ordeal.

Sleep

Sleeping has phenomenal restorative properties for both the mind and body. Getting adequate sleep is vital for new mums, especially as the baby blues and interrupted nights may be just around the corner. It is recommended to sleep at the same time baby sleeps in order to keep up the quantity of hours you need to heal and handle the pressures of having a newborn baby. Of course that is not always possible, but remember that if your baby is sleeping, it doesn’t mean you should be doing the washing up. Don’t be afraid to ask visitors to look after the baby while you sneak off for a power nap.

Rest

Obviously, sleep might not always be ready and available for new mums. Instead, plan to rest. Ensure you have adequate time off work or study and don’t feel tempted to fill those days with jobs and tasks. Take the time to rest and recover from childbirth, even if it means sitting in your armchair all day long with baby in your arms. Rest is vital for a healthy recovery, and allows you time to form a strong, lasting attachment with your baby.

Ask for help

It was once said that it takes a village to raise a child. Well, if not a village, it certainly takes help! To ensure you have a healthy recovery, physically and emotionally, don’t be too proud or embarrassed to ask for help. Childbirth takes a huge physical toll and an even bigger emotional toll on mums. Pain, swelling, limited movement, fluctuating hormones and postnatal depression may all be factors in your recovery. There is nothing more important for your recovery than acknowledging these factors and asking for help.

Yes, it is important to focus on baby’s needs. He or she, after all, can’t do much independently in the early days! But you also need to remember your needs are just as important. You need to do everything possible to ensure a speedy, healthy recovery so you and baby can get on with getting to know one another.  

Sunshine Blogger Award: Sweet stealing and spelling

I was invited by the very lovely Anna Brown to participate in the Sunshine Blogger Award. It’s a nice little tag post where someone asks you 10 questions, which you then answer and nominate 3 more bloggers to answer your own 10 questions. It’s a nice way of shouting out to other bloggers you like and learning more about them.

1. If you could visit any point in history for just an hour where, when and why?

Okay this is overly sentimental, perhaps, but give me a break – I’m still in grief mode. I would go back to Florida in Summer 2003, when I was living with my grandparents. I would sit my grandma down and ask her all of the questions I never got to ask, and tell her the things I never got to tell her.

2. What film does everyone else love that you think is totally overrated?

Does it have to be a film? Because the thing that really fits this question for me is Breaking Bad. Everyone thinks it’s so great, right? I tried really hard to watch it, but it just sets my teeth on edge. I had nightmares about the episode with the bathtub. If you’ve watched it you’ll know what I mean.

But I do like that joke that went round, about how if Breaking Bad took place in the UK, the whole story would never have happened because the NHS would sort him out for free and he wouldn’t need to sell drugs.

3. If you were a cocktail what would your ingredients be and what would you be called?

This is a really hard question! I’m no mixologist! Can I be a drink that already exists? I would be a bourbon sour, because it’s classy and complicated but not up itself. Also, it’s American but slowly becoming more accepted in the UK.

4. What five items are always in your handbag?

Besides the obvious wallet, keys, etc., I assume? Too many pens, an emergency sanitary pad, headphones, lipstick and business cards (two types – one for blogging and one for my day job).

5. If you had to lose one sense, which one would you choose?

Hearing because I think you probably lose the least amount of quality of life. You can still drive, see where you’re going, look in the mirror (I’m vain like that), unlike if you were blind. I love to eat so I don’t think life would be worth living without a sense of taste, and your sense of smell is linked to taste. And life without touch would be very lonely. I’m already losing my hearing anyway, I think, from listening to too much loud music as a teenager.

6. Have you ever broken the law? Details required unless a court case is pending.

When I was about 12, I stole some sweets from a store because I really wanted them and didn’t have any money. I felt so guilty that I went back the next day and left the money on the counter before running away. I’m such a rebel, right?

7. How do you de-stress?

I could probably make an argument for running or even blogging, but let’s face it: it’s wine.

8. If you could only eat one meal and drink one drink for all eternity without negative repercussion what would they be?

Does that mean I could only ever eat that thing, or just that I could eat as much of that thing as I want? Anyway, I reckon it would be a spicy chicken tikka masala with some vegetable sides, pilau rice and naan bread, with a Strongbow cider. If it’s a full meal, I would require poppadoms with chutney beforehand and cupcakes for afters. Really moist and spongey cupcakes with lots of icing on top – American ones, not stodgy British ones.

9. If you could choose a week away with your partner/children to ANYWHERE IN THE WHOLE WORLD or a week away solo to the place of your dreams, which would you choose? (and where’s the place of your dreams?)

There are so many places I’d like to go, but my big dream is to go to India, with a mixture of sightseeing and relaxing on a beach in Goa. A week might not be enough. I would either go with my partner and not my kids, or maybe take them when they’re much older than they are now.

10. Tell me three things that make YOU wonderful.

I’m honest, loyal to my friends, and good at spelling.

I’d like to invite 3 blogger friends of mine to participate next:

And here are your questions:

  1. What fictional place would you most like to visit?
  2. What’s the farthest you have ever been from home?
  3. If you could have one day where there would be no consequences for doing socially unacceptable things (not necessarily illegal – just rude), what would you do?
  4. Who would play you in the movie of your life?
  5. What is one song that would HAVE to be on your life movie’s soundtrack?
  6. What is the number one thing on your “bucket list”?
  7. What is your favourite conspiracy theory, that you really hope is actually true?
  8. Would you rather travel to the past or the future, and why?
  9. What is your favourite word? Mine is defenestrate.
  10. Name 3 things you are grateful for today.

The slow runner’s guide to surviving a 10k, and why you should try it

I did it! I ran the London Vitality 10k! I’m pretty amazed that I managed to run the whole way without stopping, albeit slowly. My time was 1 hour and 16 minutes, which is slightly faster than the time I’d predicted for myself. It’s amazing to be successful at doing something that you never thought you could do.

The tips I shared before the race, about how to deal with your nerves and get ready to race, definitely helped me on the day. A few other prep things helped as well:

  • I woke up extra early so I didn’t have to rush getting ready. I faffed around the house packing my bag for the day, and made myself a scrambled egg muffin for a good protein and carb-rich breakfast.
  • I turned up at the race venue early too.
  • I waited at the start so that I was in the front of my start wave. It was fun being at the front, plus I didn’t have to worry about passing people – they all had to pass me instead!

During the race, I had a few strategies to keep me going:

  • I decided not to wear headphones and instead was mindful of my surroundings. It was a wonderful atmosphere, running among London landmarks, and there were so many people cheering, lining nearly the entire length of the course. Strangers cheering you on is a great motivator!
  • My main rule for myself was to just keep running. I knew if I stopped and walked a bit, it would destroy my mojo.
  • I repeated mantras in my head when it got tough: “Just keep running” and “Slow and steady wins the race” were what worked for me.
  • I made sure to get water when it was offered, which I’m sure helped keep me from keeling over.

The finisher’s t-shirt and the rather attractive medal were a nice part of completing the 10k. But the thing that made the experience amazing was the way I proved to myself that I could persevere with something I found very difficult.

In the days after the race, I’ve been finding it easier to make better choices for myself in daily life, because I’ve proven to myself that I have willpower.

Should I sit and have a coffee or clean the house? I ran a 10k! House cleaning presents no challenge to me!

Not to say there aren’t times when coffee would be a better choice. I’m just saying that reminding myself of what I can achieve when I put my mind to something, helps motivate me to do the work I need to do.

You might think that running is not for you. But I’m here to tell you that unless your GP has told you not to, it’s worth at least giving it a try. A few years ago, I would have said that I can’t run. Hated it. Said my big boobs would give me a black eye and no sports bra was up to the job. Said I had weak ankles. But now look what I’ve done!

So please forgive this somewhat NOT humble bragging post, but I am usually better at noticing my shortcomings than celebrating my achievements. I hope that my small triumph will inspire you to have a go at something that scares you, and then celebrate when you succeed.

I ran the London Vitality 10k in support of The Children’s Society. They waived the entry fee in return for my blogging, but I still fundraised £280 to support their work helping vulnerable children in the UK. My JustGiving page is still active if anyone else would like to donate.

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