Letting your toddler smash your iPad

I’m going to go ahead and admit it: my kids each have their own iPad minis. And I shamelessly use them on long journeys, at restaurants, and even sometimes to get a few minutes peace at home.

My youngest is 2 and is fully skilled at using the Kid’s YouTube app to watch videos of full grown women playing with “In the Night Garden” toys. He watches someone play with a toy Ninky Nonk while he plays with his own toy Ninky Nonk. It’s Ninky Nonk inception.

But of course when you’ve got an expensive bit of kit like an iPad, you want to make sure it won’t be too easy for your toddler to break it. That just won’t be any fun for anyone. There are loads of iPad cases on the market, but it’s surprisingly hard to tell which one is best for protecting it from the rigours of toddler management.

We had a pretty robust iPad case that we’d been using, but there were several things I didn’t like about it. It didn’t have holes for all the buttons, and it was really hard to get it in and out of the case. The thing for propping it up for watching it was really unsteady too and it fell over all the time.

So I was pleased when I was sent the tech21 Evo Play case for testing.

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As you can see, it comes in a lovely bright colour with a really attractive design. The handle props it up at a comfortable angle for watching it, or can be used for carrying it around. It has holes in all the right places so you can plug in headphones and a charger and easily press the power and volume buttons. It’s also easy to put the iPad into the case – you just sort of push it in without much struggle and it stays in.

The biggest drawback to the product is it is kind of heavy. I think it might have doubled the weight of the iPad. But the 2yo can still carry it around just fine.

It makes up for its weight by the very robustness of the material. You can wipe it clean and if it gets really dirty, you can stick it in the dishwasher.

Years ago my eldest was sick all over his iPad and we could not get rid of the stench on the cover from just wiping it down. Finally, we tried putting it in the washing machine because we decided it was either that or the bin, so we had nothing to lose. It did vaguely survive the washing machine, but it’s great to know that we can dishwash this case with no worries about ruining it.

But the boldest claim of this case is that you can drop it from a height of 2 meters / 6.6ft and your screen will not crack. I personally don’t feel it would be a thorough product review unless I tested this bold claim. So, please view my lovely YouTube video below, in which I drop my iPad in the Evo Play case unceremoniously onto my kitchen floor.

As you can see, the case has passed my rigorous product test. I even had to drop it more than once because I am crap at making YouTube videos. And I hope you didn’t look too hard at the background. I didn’t do the washing up because I was too busy blogging.

Disclosure: I received the product in exchange for this review but it’s all my honest words above.

The Pramshed
Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

The Bedtime Tag – good and bad habits

Like just about everyone who scrolled past a social media mention of The Bedtime Tag, I thought it was a quiz about your bedtime routines for your kids. So I ignored it for a while because I’ve already written about my kids’ bedtime routine. When I actually clicked on to read one, I was pleasantly surprised to find that it’s about grownups, and what we parents get up to before we go to sleep (for however short a time before a small human requires attention).

So here is a little insider info about my bedtime habits, with thanks to Kimberly from Odd Hogg for tagging me.

Describe your usual bedtime routine.

I usually stagger upstairs at about 10pm if I have work the next day. I make it to 11 or later on the weekend. I put my phone on to charge, go upstairs to get changed and brush my teeth, then I read a chapter of my book before going to sleep. Wow, that wasn’t as interesting to describe as I thought it would be. Oh well, read on – it gets better.

What are your favourite pyjamas?

I am faddy about sleepwear. On most occasions, I go to bed sporting only pants. Sometimes I add an old ratty t-shirt to the mix. But I do have some nice pajamas. My mother-in-law buys me lovely ones at Christmas most years. This year I got some nice satin-y ones – a button-up top & long bottoms – black with colourful flowers on.

What is your current bedtime reading?

Last summer, my brother-in-law recommended a series of fantasy books by Robin Hobb. They have a bit of magic, a few dragons, some romance and plenty of violence. But the best thing about them for me is the writing is incredibly good. She talks about some pretty interesting aspects of humanity cloaked in a gripping story. There is lots of realism mixed in with the escapism. If you want to try reading them, start with The Farseer Trilogy.

I don’t always read fantasy though, I like to read classic novels too. Last year this time I was reading The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Brontë. It’s a smashing piece of emergent feminism.

What would I find on your bedside table?

My awesome alarm clock that slowly wakes you up with natural light. It combats Seasonal Affective Disorder and has made it so much easier for me to wake on dark winter mornings. I also have my Kindle, a bottle of water, and some random crap – possibly empty medicine packets from whenever the last time I was sick.

What scent makes you sleepy?

I’m not sure if any scent makes me sleepy exactly, but I love the smell of lavender for relaxation. My dad used to put lavender in the heating vents when I was young, and our house always smelled beautiful and felt relaxing.

What is your usual bedtime and wakeup time?

Bedtime was covered above. I have to wake up at 6:45am on the days I work in London, and the kids wake me sometime between 7 and 8am on non-work days (on top of the 2 – 6 times the toddler woke me in the night).

What are your top three bedtime products?

Try as I might, I can never seem to get into using lots of beauty products at bedtime. I don’t put any age-defying goop on my face.

So my top three products at bedtime are toothpaste, easy-glide floss, and GUM interdental brushes. Seriously, all I do at bedtime is care for my teeth. As they say in Pretty Woman, “you shouldn’t neglect your gums”.

And if I might be allowed to add a cheeky 4th item: my memory foam pillow. My husband got it for my birthday and although it didn’t seem very romantic at the time, my sleep has been improved by it ten-fold.

What is your most common sleeping position

I think I probably end up on my tummy a lot, but I toss and turn a lot and give all of the positions a turn.

Do you have anything you like to take to bed with you?

My husband?! Sorry, couldn’t resist. I think the answer to that is no. I still have some beloved soft toys from my childhood, but they sit near the bed and no longer accompany me into it.

What is your worst bedtime habit?

This is really bad. Environmentalists and keepers of tidy houses alike will hate me.I mentioned I keep a water bottle on my bedside table. So basically, I reuse plastic water bottles at my bedside many times over. But when I’m ready to have a new plastic bottle, I bring a new one upstairs. And then I often just stick the old one on the floor just under the bed. I end up with a collection of dusty used water bottles under my bed. I occasionally have a clearout. I know, you’re disgusted with me now. I should have just said “trumping”. 😉

I tag Kelly from Kelly Allen Writer, Vic from Mum Times Two, and That Mummy Blog to complete the questions above.

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THE RULES OF THE BEDTIME TAG

Step 1: Thank the person who nominated you, and link back to their blog.
Step 2: Display The Bedtime Tag badge; which you can find above. (save the picture)
Step 3: Answer the ten questions included above.
Step 4: Nominate fellow bloggers to take part and answer the above questions.

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

The Christmas Tag – couldn’t resist!

Okay I know I said I was going to stop blogging for Christmas, but this isn’t a blog post, it’s a Christmas tag. My lovely friend over at Me, You, Baby Too tagged me and it simply seemed rude to say no. You should pop over and check out her blog – she is very funny!

So this post is just a bit of fun and doesn’t involve me being creative. Let’s face it. I’m addicted to the internet. I needed to do some internetting today. I promise I’ll get better. But for now…here’s my Christmas Tag interview.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS MOVIE?

For me it’s not Christmas if you haven’t seen some version of A Christmas Carol. I’m not that keen on the Jim Carrey one. I like either A Muppet Christmas Carol or the straight-to-DVD one starring Patrick Stewart. Patrick Stewart is the perfect Scrooge.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A WHITE CHRISTMAS?

When I was little I lived somewhere that used to get very snowy indeed. Sometimes there would even be so much snow you had to dig your way out of the front door. I’m not sure if that much snow ever happened on Christmas day, but all the Christmases were definitely white. In adult life, not so much, but I do think one Yorkshire Christmas had enough snow (or was it on Boxing Day?) that I managed a snowball fight with my nieces.

WHERE DO YOU USUALLY SPEND YOUR HOLIDAY?

In Yorkshire with my husband’s family. There are 18 of us when we all get together!

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG?

‘Fairytale of New York’ because I like the sort of Irish-y tune paired with depressing lyrics.

DO YOU OPEN ANY PRESENTS ON CHRISTMAS EVE?

Not usually. But this year I’m letting my kids open some presents from friends and neighbours early. We have loads of presents from us to lug up to Yorkshire so I don’t want to take the other presents as well. Saving everything for Christmas Day is overrated IMHO.

CAN YOU NAME ALL OF SANTA’S REINDEER?

Dasher, Prancer, Donner, Vixen, Rudolph, um…nope.

WHAT HOLIDAY TRADITIONS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS YEAR?

Having a drink and chatting with family!

IS YOUR CHRISTMAS TREE REAL OR FAKE?

Real. I wouldn’t mind a fake myself but my husband wouldn’t stand for one.

WHAT’S YOUR ALL TIME FAVOURITE HOLIDAY TREAT/FOOD/SWEET?

We always have our main Christmas dinner at lunchtime or late afternoon. Then, later, we have Christmas supper. This consists of lots of cheese, chutney, pickles, Yorkshire pork pies and the likes. I love this munchey meal with a glass of port.

BE HONEST, DO YOU LIKE GIVING OR RECEIVING GIFTS BETTER?

It depends on the person I’m giving to. There are some people that are fun to shop for and are then grateful for their gift. In that case, it’s great I’d rather be the giver. But sometimes people are hard to shop for and not very appreciative, which is not so much fun.

WHAT IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT YOU HAVE EVER RECEIVED?

That’s a tough one. I don’t think anything has ever quite beat the excitement of receiving a ‘Barbie Dream House’ on Christmas when I was about 6. I don’t think adult gifts can ever really compare! But I do love getting a spa voucher. You can let everyone know.

WHAT WOULD BE YOUR DREAM PLACE TO VISIT FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON?

I would actually quite like to just be in my own house and have family come to me. It might be stressful but we have never been in our own house on Christmas day before.

ARE YOU A PRO PRESENT WRAPPER OR DO YOU FAIL MISERABLY?

I fail miserably. This year, my husband wrapped and I was in charge of handing him pieces of tape and writing the gift tags.

WHAT MADE YOU REALISE THE TRUTH ABOUT SANTA?

I always knew the truth.

WHAT MAKES THE HOLIDAYS SPECIAL FOR YOU?

Wine. Oh and probably my family. Wine and my family together.

I’m not good at thinking of who would like to be tagged for this sort of thing, so if you’d like to participate just let me know in the comments!

Being a body confident parent and the #PledgeToBeReal campaign

I was bullied a lot growing up and it was usually by other girls, and it was usually related to looks. One experience that’s stayed with me was when I was about 13 years old and I started to sprout some breasts. I probably did go from a relatively flat chest to an attractive B-cup at quite a fast rate. Some of my peers took exception to this.

A group of 3 girls started teasing me, saying I was stuffing my bra and that what was in there couldn’t possibly be for real. They forced me to go to the toilets and take off my bra to prove I hadn’t stuffed it. Then they threw toilet roll on the floor themselves and pretended that they found it in my bra, so I couldn’t win, despite my innocence.

When I reflect on that hurtful day now, I realise how ridiculous it was that such young girls were obsessed about the size of each others’ breasts. This sort of awareness could only have been propagated by the media to which we’d been exposed. We were girls about to be women, and we worried about living up to certain standards of supposed femininity from a very early age.

Looking back on pictures of my young self now, I think about how I wasted so much of that time worrying about how I looked. I sometimes come across old pictures of myself and think that I looked pretty good, but I didn’t realise it at the time. I loved teen magazines, and they – along with my peers who’d also been looking at those magazines and comparing themselves and others to the hotties on music video television – led me to believe the following about myself:

  • I had too much hair. I was obsessed with perfect depilation, particularly on my legs, and worried endlessly about the shape of my eyebrows.
  • My hair never fell perfectly across my shoulders like the cartoon princess hair I craved.
  • My skin was not smooth and flawless enough. Why didn’t it look silky like the skin of the girl on the cover of the magazine?
  • My skin was too pale. Cue endless tanning and no doubt sun damage today as a result.
  • My lips were too fat. My friends thought their lips were too thin. Who cares about lip shape really?
  • My stomach was not flat enough. I was perfectly thin when I was young but I didn’t think my skin should fold at all when I sat down.

Get real!

I realise now that my worry was created by the false expectations about beauty that surrounded me. That is why I’m writing this post in support of the Be Real Body Image Pledge. It’s a national movement, supported by Dove UK, which is campaigning for the advertising, fashion, music and media industries to show more reality and diversity.

Current technology and the propagation of sharing selfies on social media is putting more pressure than ever on people to look a certain way. A recent study commissioned by Dove showed that when this leads to low body-esteem, it can also lead to opting out of important life activities such as seeing family or leaving the house. The study also showed that 80% of UK females wish the media did a better job of realistically portraying women in all their authentic beauty and diversity.

The pledge asks organisations that sign up to attempt to reflect diversity and reality in their advertising, and focus on promoting health and well-being.

Making a difference as a body confident parent

Being a mum of two boys who is (ahem) approaching middle age, remaining body confident is still a challenge at times. Having children changes your body forever, and I am still learning to accept aspects of it that are new to me. I still have to ignore messages in the media telling me that I need to be a certain shape which may not be a realistic goal for me. As I age, I’m also trying to ignore messages telling me I should worry about gray hairs and fine lines. Someday the wrinkles will be everywhere and I’ll wish I’d appreciated my only fine-lined face while I still had it.

And I know my sons will be getting messages too about how both women and men should look. It is my job to try and show them how to interpret these. So here is what I think I can do as a parent to support the Be Real Body Image Pledge:

  • I will let my sons see me feeling happy and confident in my own skin. I will not point out my physical flaws (as I perceive them) aloud.
  • I will not comment negatively on the way other people look. If you don’t have anything nice to say…
  • I will support brands and media outlets that portray realistic body images.
  • When they are old enough to understand, I will talk with them about how what they see in the media is not always a full portrayal of reality.
  • I will teach them to respect their own bodies and the bodies of others.

I’m not saying it’s easy or straightforward, but as with many things, awareness of what needs to change is the first step towards changing things.

Standards of beauty have changed throughout history, and we can choose to see the beauty in the everyday, rather than getting increasingly obsessed with fantastic, technology-enhanced images. We can learn to focus on health, activity, kindness and community, rather than a pleasing angle that would be more attractive in a piece of architecture than on a human being. If our children are presented with true beauty to which they can realistically aspire, we can have greater hopes for them to have a healthier future.

I created this post as a competition entry in support of Dove and the Be Real Body Image Pledge. You can show support for this campaign by using the hashtag #PledgeToBeReal on social media. 

Petite Pudding
Tammymum
Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

Knowing the side effects of hormonal birth control could save your life

The birth control pill has been in widespread use since the 1960s and has been incredibly beneficial for both women and men. The ability to choose when to have children (for the most part), and avoid unwanted pregnancies is extremely valuable. So by no means is this post “anti-pill”.

However, two stories in the news recently have brought the side effects of birth control pills to the forefront. The first was a Danish study that showed a clear link between hormonal contraceptives and depression. While “mood changes” have been listed as a side effect of the pill for many years, this was the first large-scale study to investigate just how much the pill could affect women’s moods.

At the same time, a recent study into the side effects of a male birth control injection was cut short “due to side effects, particularly depression and other mood disorders“. So this may be oversimplifying things a bit, but it seems that it was simply unacceptable for male test subjects to experience the sort of mood effects from hormonal contraception that women have been experiencing for years.

My personal experience of hormonal contraceptives

My personal experience with hormonal contraception has been unpleasant at times. When I was 18, I started taking the injectable contraceptive, Depo Provera. It was sold to me as an excellent choice because I just needed a jab in my rear end once every 3 months. It was 99% effective and I wouldn’t have to remember to take it every day like a pill.

Although I’m sure I would have seen a leaflet listing the side effects, no one pointed them out to me. But I experienced just about all of them. Before starting the Depo shots, I was effortlessly thin. After starting it, I gained about 20 pounds which I have never been able to lose. I had headaches, extreme mood swings and completely lost my sex drive. No wonder it’s 99% effective … I didn’t feel like having sex!

Later, I switched to the combined pill. I was able to cope with this much better and mostly felt normal on it. However, when I stopped taking it years later in order to try for my first baby, I experienced a massive improvement in my general wellbeing. The sporadic feelings of dissatisfaction and insecurity that had plagued me for years suddenly disappeared, and I found it easier to lose weight.

After my second son, my GP encouraged me to take the mini-pill because I could be on it while breastfeeding. During the time I was on this pill, I had to seek treatment for postnatal depression, and when I forgot to refill my mini-pill prescription, my depression lifted.

Over the years, I have never been taken seriously by health professionals when I’ve mentioned how profoundly various types of hormonal birth control had been affecting me. The attitude has always been that all of these things were worth coping with in order to prevent pregnancy.

The side effects are not as rare as they say

I decided to ask some other female bloggers whether they had experienced bad side effects from the pill, and was surprised how many of them had, within a relatively small sample group (the Facebook group I asked contains just over 1000 people, not all of them women). Here are some of the comments I received:

I had increasingly bad side effects from the combined pill, which culminated in me being admitted as an emergency as I was suffering with a hemiplegic migraine. It was a very frightening experience as my whole left side went numb, my left cheek drooped and I had very bad light sensitivity. After undergoing extensive tests, including an MRI, CT contrast, etc., they determined it was the combined pill that was the cause, and immediately stopped me from taking it. I’ve since been told that hemiplegic migraines are a precursor to stroke, so I was incredibly lucky!

– Nathalie from The Intolerant Gourmand

I went on the pill; it gave me horrific mood swings – I mean like I could be laughing like it was the funniest thing going, and within 30 seconds be bawling my eyes out. It was genuinely a bit scary, like verbal diarrhoea, but rather than being that excited positive spewing, it was like horrible, hateful stuff that most of the time wasn’t even true, but just my brain having a freak out.

– Hannah from Han Plans

I had one which made me want to kill myself – right out of the blue. They put me on anti-depressants and then worked out it was the pill. Even though they knew it was the pill, it still flags up on my file: “depression”.

– Alice from Seaside Housewife

I haven’t been able to take the pill since I was 18 due to it making my depression worse.

– Lisa from Hollybobbs

I had to come off the combined pill because I had such a bad migraine one day I couldn’t feel my left side, and they suspected it was actually a TIA/mini stroke or if not, I was actually very close to having one. At that point I had been taking it for 5 years. I switched immediately to Cerazette (progesterone only) and was told that I must never take oestrogen again. I came off the pill altogether after I got married and it was a revelation – suddenly I felt “normal” – I hadn’t realised how different it had made me feel being on the pill because I’d taken it for such a long time. I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what it was, and what had changed, but I knew I felt better in myself, like a fog had lifted. I will never ever go back on it, or any other hormonal contraceptives.

– Sarah from Arthurwears

I had to come off the combined contraceptive pill (Microgynon) because of the side effects. I had zero sex drive (making it pointless for me to take the pill anyway!) and put on weight, but worst of all was it gave me severe suicidal thoughts. Within days of coming off it I was back to normal again, but it was a horrendous experience.

– Maddy from The Speed Bump

So are you saying I shouldn’t take the pill?

Absolutely not. As I mentioned earlier, the pill has improved people’s lives massively, and if you are not experiencing any health problems while on the pill, then keep on taking it!

However, I do not think there is enough awareness of the side effects of hormonal birth control, so I am writing this to urge you to read that leaflet and talk to your doctor if you think your contraceptive is causing problems for you. Different forms of birth control can have different side effects, but here are a few things to look out for:

  • If you are having migraines or any severe headaches, particularly if you are using the combined pill, be sure to remind your doctor that you are on the pill. The combined pill can cause strokes.
  • If you are feeling continual low mood or depression, it could be worth trying to go off the pill for a short time. You should also talk to your doctor, but I’ve found that doctors won’t be quick to consider the pill as a cause of depression.
  • Hormonal contraception can also contribute to weight gain and changes in your sex drive.

Please note that I am not a medical professional and you should always speak to your doctor, and always use alternative contraception, such as condoms, if you’re not on the pill.

Here are some links to NHS information about different types of hormonal birth control:

Have you had issues with the side effects of contraception? Leave your story in the comments.

Petite Pudding

What is up with Bonfire Night? A guide for foreigners

I recently wrote a post defending Halloween, so it is only fair that I write something about Bonfire Night. I grew up in the USA, and before I moved to the UK, I had never heard of it, and then I found it roundly baffling. Once I got used to the weirdness, I’ve really enjoyed it. It is, however, pretty difficult to explain to my American friends and family.

I remember my first year in England back in 2001, when people started mumbling something about Guy Fawkes and the distant pops of fireworks became a regular occurrence for at least a week. I had a relative visiting from America and we giggled about people saying “Guy Fawkes” in their cute English accents and didn’t really try very hard to understand what it was all about. Something about Christianity and bonfires.

After that, I somehow managed to not really get involved in Bonfire Night for years. I’m not really sure what I was doing, but I was dating someone who wasn’t keen on crowds (a man who was later upgraded to husband and still doesn’t like crowds). I remember him mumbling something once about taking me to London to eat a toffee apple, but it never happened.

So I never actually attended a Bonfire Night celebration until 2009 when we had become regulars at a local pub and it presented another reason for a piss up. I had fun that night. Macho men built massive fires and endangered life and limb lighting fireworks in irresponsible ways. It made me interested in the tradition and what it was all about.

The main occasion for fireworks in the USA is obviously Independence Day (the 4th of July), during which we celebrate getting shot of the British and their stupid red coats. As an American who has set up home back in Britain, I’ve obviously rejected that holiday. I have renounced my independence. But one has to mourn the chance to engage in some nationalistic fervour whilst watching explosions.

So it’s a good thing we have the same thing in Britain! Obviously it’s not about independence – people throughout history have needed independence from Britain, not the other way round. But there is a fair amount of nationalistic fervour.

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For any readers who don’t know the story behind Bonfire Night, here is my take on it and the history that led up to it. It is fascinating and super eccentrically British, imho.

  • Henry VIII was pissed off that he couldn’t conceive a male heir with his wife, plus he fancied having some other wives. So he rejected Catholicism, which wouldn’t stand for that sort of thing, and declared himself head of the Church of England. Then he could totes marry whoever he liked.
  • Later, Elizabeth I got pretty hard-arsed about it and decreed people MUST attend Church of England services. She executed Catholic priests and whipped and/or imprisoned people practising Catholicism.
  • Her successor, James I, at first gave Catholics reason to hope for more toleration, but he didn’t deliver on it.
  • This pissed off a breakaway group of young Catholics, who thought it might help matters by bumping off him and most of parliament – and then installing a Catholic head of state. The Gunpowder Plot was born.
  • Guy Fawkes was just one of a group of conspirators, but he was the explosives expert. So he’s the one who got caught planting 36 barrels of gunpowder under the Houses of Parliament on 5 November 1605,  in the hopes of blowing it sky high.
  • Poor old Guy and some of his mates were hanged, drawn and quartered for treason.
  • There then was an actual act of parliament declaring that the 5th of November should be a day of Thanksgiving for, um, the king and parliament not being exploded and stuff.
  • Part of this celebration is the burning of an effigy upon a bonfire. In early days, this might have been the pope himself, but poor old Guy is the main scapegoat nowadays. So schoolchildren might build a “guy” for burning on the bonfire.
  • These celebrations also involve fireworks displays and the eating of toffee apples. Although our local party only seems to have sausages.

I just love that it takes me so long to explain why people like to set off fireworks and burn things on 5 November. That deep sense of history is something that is much more pervasive than it is in the comparatively young USA.

So now that we have kids, we love an excuse to go to a local community event (not a piss up), watch some fireworks and buy some overpriced glowsticks. And I’m so happy that I can watch fireworks safe in the knowledge that I’m doing it for relatively defunct nationalistic reasons.

Single Mum Speaks
Tammymum

Halloween is not an American import, says the American import

Right, so I’ve got to capitalise on the season and write some seasonal posts. The next seasonal fun in store is Halloween. As I grew up in America, I think I have an unusual perspective on the whole thing.

First I should explain that I’m one of those immigrants who is more British than the British. I have a deep love of my hard-earned crimson passport and I embrace British culture wholeheartedly. I’ve assimilated. I can’t really change my accent, but I can choose to say trousers instead of pants. I know my aubergines from my eggplants and I never, ever talk about fanny packs (mind you, I’ve not even considered wearing one since the early 90s, but I saw a 6th-former wearing one today so maybe they’re back).

I drink real ale. I drink my tea with milk and would NEVER heat the water for it in a microwave (a popular American pastime). I am good at queuing. I am willing to accept less than impressive customer service because I wouldn’t like to make a fuss. I think baked beans are perfectly acceptable to eat at breakfast time.

But one time of year when I am entirely and unashamedly American is when it comes to Halloween. My childhood memories of getting dressed up and going trick-or-treating are among the best for me. I may have made a few dodgy costume choices as a pre-teen which got me teased at school, but the sweets (you see, I said sweets, not candy) made up for it.

I’ve been shocked over the years to find how resistant some British people can be to aspects of Halloween that they consider to be American imports. A recent Telegraph article quotes survey results stating:

Some people have negative impressions of Halloween, seeing it as an “unwelcome American cultural import” (45 per cent in agreement). Furthermore, not everyone is convinced that “trick or treating” is harmless fun for the kids (33 per cent).

So here is a bit of history to put Halloween in perspective, and an explanation of why people really ought to lighten up and embrace the fun of Halloween.

A Halloween history lesson

Contrary to popular belief, trick or treating is not wholly an American invention, and Halloween has a long provenance in the UK.

Halloween originally comes from the pagan ritual of Samhain. Celts believed that the dead would return to earth on Samhain, and they would wear “costumes made of animal skins to drive away phantom visitors” (History.com), and leave offerings out for roaming spirits.

After Christianity came along, Samhain got replaced by All Souls’ Day, in which people honoured the souls of the dead. Halloween is All Hallows’ Eve and is part of the All Soul’s Day vigil. In the middle ages, part of this festival involved “souling”, in which children and poor adults would dress up and beg for food and money by singing songs and saying prayers on behalf of the dead (Today I Found Out).  Sometimes, people would even cross-dress while they prayed for fertile marriages during Hallow Mass.

The “trick” part of Trick or Treat also has more British origins than one might think. You may be familiar with “Mischief Night” in which traditionally young people played pranks and even damaged property on 4 November – the night before Bonfire Night (The Guardian). Leave it to the Americans to take something the British invented, slap a shiny name on it and sell it back.

Trick or treating is safe and fun for kids

Lots of people worry about the safety of Halloween for kids, but with the correct precautions there is no reason to worry about this. No one had more protective and cautious parents than me and I was still allowed to go trick or treating, with my parents when I was very young and with a group of friends as a pre-teen. There were simple rules:

  • Don’t go to houses that haven’t turned on their lights and added some sort of decorations.
  • Don’t go inside anyone’s house.
  • Stick with your friends or a responsible adult.
  • Don’t eat any sweets until parents have checked the wrappers for structural integrity, stray razor blades and/or poison (urban legend).

I was never allowed, nor was I interested in, performing any “tricks”. As far as I know, almost no actual trick or treaters do this. Adorning houses with toilet paper and throwing eggs are for bored teenagers who will find any excuse.

And kids just love trick or treating. What’s not to like about accumulating sweets? I took my older son out for the first time last year (at age 3), and I’ve rarely seen him quite so excited. He’s been counting down the days until autumn so he can go again.

Plus, I think trick or treating is good for children’s people skills. It takes confidence to knock on someone’s door and present yourself politely to be provided with sweets. When I took my son, I was so proud the way he said “trick or treat” with a smile and always remembered to say thank you.

Halloween is good for the community

I’m lucky enough to live in a little village where people have some semblance of community. We come together to prevent anti-social behaviour that ruins Halloween for everyone, but we can also come together to celebrate it. Besides the grownup fancy dress parties at local pubs, which often raise money for charity, there is a general festive feel on Halloween night in my village.

Not everyone participates, and that is respected, but lots of houses are lit up with jack-o’-lanterns. Some people even make little haunted gardens for people to walk through on the way to the door. The adults enjoy chatting at doors and while they pass each other on the streets.

Some people really resent the notion of being expected to provide sweets to children. No amount of British acculturation can get me to understand why anyone wouldn’t enjoy making children happy with such a simple gesture. I get excited to hear a knock at the door and see their smiling excited faces.

Dressing up is fun and not scary

Children love dressing up and role play anyway, so why not have a whole day that gives them an excuse to enjoy it? Fancy dress fosters imagination and creativity.

The thing that really confuses me is that many British people think you HAVE to dress up as something scary on Halloween, and that not doing so is uniquely American. However, my history lesson above describes a long history of non-scary Halloween outfits.

When I took my son to his school “Pumpkin Party” this year, I saw no less than 10 little skeletons waiting outside. Boring! My son was a completely non-scary fireman. He got to dress up as a hero! And someday, I’d like to think that he’d be perfectly free to dress as a burrito.

So get carving

According to this interesting history of the Jack O’ Lantern, the practice of carving them comes from a rather creepy Irish folktale about a jerk called Stingy Jack. Originally, in Ireland and Scotland, people carved faces into turnips and potatoes to ward off Stingy Jack and his unsavoury mates. When the custom came to England, they used beetroot, which sounds very scary indeed.

Using pumpkins is an American import, but they are clearly more fit for purpose than turnips. But if it makes you feel more British, go ahead and use some other sort of root vegetable. Or even branch out and use an alternative squash.

The point is, Halloween has a long tradition in this country, even though traditions have grown, changed, and been influenced by other cultures. So, turn off your lights, dress normally, and keep your sweets to yourself if you like … but Halloween is just as British as baked beans at breakfast.

How do you feel about Halloween? How do you celebrate it (or not) in your family?

Two Tiny Hands
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Wearing pyjamas on the school run and looking awesome

In some of my more shameful moments of being a judge-y mum (it’s so wrong, but let’s face it, we all do it sometimes), I’ve enjoyed guffawing with my friends at the other mums I’ve seen doing the nursery/school run in their pyjamas. I mean, I know mornings are tough, but how hard is it to throw on a pair of jeans?

But it turns out that I am totally not down with the trends.

Apparently, wearing pyjamas in public is super on-trend in 2016, and all the celebs are doing it. Now, I’m not one to blindly follow fashion trends, but this is one I can definitely get behind. Looking fashionable in loose and comfy clothes … what’s not to like?

Unfortunately, most of my pyjamas are voluminous numbers from maternity days or nightgowns I’ve owned since I was 15. Not really the on-trend ones we’re talking about here. And the ones the celebs are wearing will set you back at least £200 for a set.

So I was excited and intrigued when The Reach London contacted me about their new Pyjama Kickstarter campaign. They’re raising funds to produce a range of affordable, luxury cotton pyjamas that you can totally leave the house in. My favourite is the Liberty London print (close up in featured photo), but they have a great range available:

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Why it’s a good brand to support

  • It’s a small London-based business that uses a London manufacturer. I love supporting local business and ethically produced products.
  • They use the same London factory that supplies top brands such as Victoria Beckham and Burberry.
  • They have high-quality craftmanship, which includes French seams, piped trim, hand-tailoring and ethically sourced mother-of-pearl buttons.
  • Their pyjamas are 100% high-quality soft cotton, which is machine washable. Some of the famous brands are dry clean only – and who wants to dry clean pyjamas?

Why the pyjamas are great to wearpyjamas_the-reach-london_pinterest

  • Unlike most luxury pyjamas on the market, it’s possible to buy the tops and bottoms separately. This is brilliant if you wear different sizes on the bottom and the top (many mums do after the things those babies did to your body).
  • The bottoms are available in two different lengths in case you’re short like me. And you can adjust the waistband to wear on your waist or hips depending on your preference.
  • You can just buy a top if you prefer to only wear a nightshirt with no bottoms.
  • It’s totally cool and on-trend to wear the tailored pyjama top with a pair of jeans.
  • Or you could wear a whole set with nice sandals and accessories. This would be great for holidays somewhere hot and sunny.

How to get your hands on some

  • If you support their Kickstarter campaign, you can be among the first to own these pyjamas. Not only will you be supporting small UK business, but also you will get special investor price.
  • Prices start from £45 for a pair of pyjama trousers. The Liberty set I’m lusting after is £105 – still reasonable for luxury pyjamas.
  • Shipping is free to anywhere in the world.
  • You don’t pay for the pyjamas until 1 October, and only if the Kickstarter campaign is successful. If they don’t reach their goal, they can’t make the pyjamas.

Do you like the pyjama prints available? Are you down with the idea of wearing really nice pyjamas on the school run? Please let me know in the comments!

Disclosure: I’m receiving a “bloggers discount” in return for this brand collaboration.

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Losing the baby weight: Myths vs reality

Once you get pregnant, not only do people start telling you what is safe and unsafe to eat, they also keep reminding you not to “eat for two”. Well, sod that. If I can’t drink and I can’t eat the best cheese, if I’m sick, tired, hormonal and my boobs hurt, you know what I’m going to do? Eat cake. During both of my pregnancies, I ate cake and ice cream and mountains of curry, pizza and peri-peri chicken. And both times I did gain weight which took a lot of time to lose. Plus, I wasn’t exactly skinny to start with. But I don’t regret a single mouthful of sugary goodness, because pregnancy made me feel awful and the cake helped me cope. If you feel the same as me, then you should cake away. Tell any judgemental friends or family that someone on the internet (clearly an expert) said it was fine.

Once you have the baby, the health police stop banging on about how not to poison your baby and gain loads of weight, and start banging on about how to lose the baby weight. Luckily, these days celebrities are being a little more honest about how bloody difficult it is. But there are still countless articles trying to give you “realistic” tips about how to use the weight-loss tricks of celebrities. I’ll tell you how celebs lose baby weight. Two things:

  1. They have bottomless pits of money to hire personal trainers and diet chefs and nannies to look after their babies all night.
  2. It’s their job to lose the weight.

So I’m here to tell you a real person’s view on losing baby weight. I think there are loads of myths about losing the baby weight that are propagated even by our well-meaning friends and family. These conspire to make new mums feel worse about their shape. And the worse you feel, the harder it is to make the changes you want to make. So here are my biggest baby weight-loss myths and some tips (from my humble experience) to help you actually lose the weight in real life (if you want to).

Biggest baby-weight loss myths

“9 months on and 9 months off”

This one has a good intention behind it, implying that it takes as long to lose the weight as it does to gain it. But in my experience, 9 months is not long enough. It took me the best part of 2 years to lose the baby weight after my first, and I’m still working on the weight gained from my 22-month old. The problem is, raising babies is hard work. It’s physical, emotional, mentally straining and you don’t get much sleep. These factors combine to make you reach for the nearest chocolate-y sugary fatty-fat-food full of energy to help you get through another day. You might not have time to cook proper meals or if you do cook them, you may never eat them. My first son used to cry like clockwork whenever I sat down for a proper meal. As a result I used to eat like I’d been stranded on a desert island living on coconut water for the last year.

“Breastfeeding helps you lose the baby weight”

This is a big one that they like to roll out in those wonderful guilt-trip pamphlets and signs as displayed in hospital and given you by health visitors. Now, as I’ve explained in my breastfeeding story, I was only able to achieve mixed-feeding with both of my children. So perhaps that is why breastfeeding didn’t do jack for helping me lose weight. But whether or not your baby is fully, partially, or not-at-all breastfed, don’t feel bad if it has no correlation to you losing weight. Breastfeeding makes you produce all sorts of hormones that you don’t normally produce. Plus, if you’re on the pill, there are only certain pills you can take when you’re breastfeeding and one of the side effects of progesterone-only pills is weight gain. I have never been able to achieve any significant weight loss until I’ve stopped breastfeeding.

“Just eat a bit less”

Someone actually said this to me when my baby was only 3 months old. I was tucking into a fairly modest plate of pasta and he’s all like, “maybe you should have a smaller portion?”. Pfffft. I had my stomach cut open 3 months ago. I was up all freaking night with a baby hanging off my boob. You try it and see if you want to eat less sodding pasta.

“Try some postnatal fitness classes”

I actually highly recommend these. But not because they will necessarily help you lose weight. They might, or they might not. I did baby yoga with both children, walked miles and miles pushing buggies around, and tried some more difficult mum fit classes too. None of these resulted in weight loss (any calories burned were replaced with sleep-deprived-chocolate-binges). However, the exercise improved my mood and I met other mums for potential friendship/coffee drinking/joint chocolate binges. The baby yoga was also a lovely way to bond with my baby.

“You can get back to jogging 6 months after birth”

Maybe if you are Jessica Ennis-Hill or Paula Radcliffe. My dabbling in running before both of my children was not fortifying enough to get back to it easily. I tried to start jogging again when my youngest was 6 months old. It lasted for about a week before I put my back out and caught the latest virus that was going round Eldest’s preschool. Get back to your usual exercise when you’re ready, but don’t feel bad if it doesn’t work out, because babies are hard work. You will eventually be able to resume (vaguely) normal service.

“You have to lose the baby weight”

You may actually be comfortable in your skin post-baby just the way you are. If you are, then chill. Don’t let anyone tell you what your body should look like. The way you feel is the only thing that matters.

Things that helped me lose baby weight

What works for me might not work for you, but I’m going to tell you anyway in case it does.

Finding the right diet

When you’re ready to watch your diet, that is. Based on my experience, I wouldn’t recommend dieting before baby is at least 9 months old, sleeping well at night, and until you’ve stopped breastfeeding.

There is no magic bullet for dieting, but what I’ve found is that each person can find something that works for them. I’ve had friends who’ve lost the weight and kept it off successfully with Weight Watchers, the South Beach diet and Slimming World. But for me, it was The Fast Diet. Even before I had kids, I could never stick to any sort of diet or even so-called “just eating healthy”. But The Fast Diet, also known as 5:2 or intermittent fasting, has been a miracle for me. You limit your calories to 500/day for just 2 days a week and eat reasonably (i.e. whatever you want without totally bingeing) the rest of the time. After both children I’ve lost around 2 stone (24 lbs) with this diet, after never being successful with any other. It sounds crazy but if you read the book it makes sense, and there are loads of other health benefits from fasting. It’s made me crave healthier foods. I’m currently obsessed with avocado, and that’s a phrase I never thought I’d say.

Finding a realistic exercise programme that fits into mum life

The only thing that has worked for me for getting fit and keeping fit is the Couch to 5K programme. It’s a running programme where you gradually work up, through interval training, from being a “couch potato” to being able to run 5K. It seriously works, no matter how unfit you are. It helped me get over a dislike of running. And it’s a great solution for a mum, because you can do it any time and with no special equipment. However, you may find something else is your thing. The biggest thing is to remember is that any exercise is good. Even if you aren’t consistent, one gym session a month is better than none.

Getting your brain on your side

I’ve found that I’m enjoying my exercise sessions more lately and I think it’s due to things that I’ve changed in my life that keep my mind busy while I’m exercising. In the past, I found exercise so boring! But since I’ve started blogging, I’m coming up with post ideas in my head the whole time I’m running and the time flies by. I forget I’m running. I’ve also subscribed to a music streaming service, and it’s really helped to always have fresh, new music to listen to. It’s also helped me to set a goal/reward to look forward to. For me, I’m hoping to look and feel awesome in time for my 20-year highschool reunion next summer.

Enlist support from your family

If your partner resents the time you spend exercising, or hates the food you cook on your diet, you are not going to succeed. Talk to your partner and explain how important it is to have his/her support. Support your partner’s diet and fitness goals as well, and see where you can cooperate in meal planning and family scheduling. If you have older children, you can also get them to join in on your exercise. My 4yo loves a bit of stretching or calisthenics.

Accept setbacks

Being a mum is a bloody hard job. If your child gets sick, or you get sick, or you have another life emergency, or a bereavement, or you get injured during your exercise efforts (I’ve had a hundred bad back or twisted ankle incidents), you might end up having to take a break from diet and exercise. Try not to let it get you down. It’s real life. As long as you keep trying whenever you realistically can, you’re doing great.

As for me, I’m doing okay. My youngest is not yet two, and I have about 5 more pounds of baby weight to lose. Then I can tackle what I like to call my “beer and burrito” weight.

Are you eager to lose the baby weight or are you happy just how you are? Do you have any weight loss and fitness tips you’d like to share?

Cuddle Fairy
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