Parenting skills I didn’t know I needed

I’ve got a little bit of blogger’s block. I’ve been trying to think of something vaguely funny to write to offset some of my serious posts. It occurred to me that there are all sorts of parenting “soft skills” that nobody talks about. Those little things you do all the time when you have kids, but you never ever did before you had kids. Nor did you ever anticipate that you would need to do such things.



  1. Scraping toothpaste off of things (e.g. the sink, my bra, the cat)
  2. Jumping over toddler gates in the middle of the night (because those things are impossible to open when you’re half asleep)
  3. Explaining why you shouldn’t rest your penis on the sink (But why, mummy? I love to put it there!)
  4. Explaining why you shouldn’t put your finger up your bum (You shouldn’t, right?)
  5. Explaining why you shouldn’t put your finger up the cat’s bum (that poor cat)
  6. Defrosting and cooking sausages (the only thing they’re guaranteed to eat)
  7. Cutting teensy tiny nails without drawing blood
  8. Distinguishing poop from chocolate (harder than you might think)
  9. Cleaning crayon off of windows (impossible)
  10. Phonics (those things m-m-m-make no ssss-sense to me)
  11. Extricating back-arching toddlers from narrow behind-the-sofa hiding places
  12. Cleaning up a poonami without smearing it all over the wall
  13. Using a screwdriver to replace musical mobile batteries at 4am
  14. Carrying a handbag, changing bag, shopping and a wriggling toddler at the same time
  15. Carrying tired preschooler up hills at speed to reach toilet in time
  16. Secret kitchen biscuit consumption whilst preparing fruit for children
  17. Never leaving the house without snacks and wet wipes
  18. Not getting stuck when fetching children off playground/soft play equipment
  19. Oceans of patience and self-control
  20. Remembering to get lots of cuddles before they turn into stinky teenagers

Can you relate to any of these? What are your unexpected parenting skills?

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

Author: The Mum Reviews

Writing about women's health and wellness (especially for mums) as I try to stay sane in my crazy life.

35 thoughts on “Parenting skills I didn’t know I needed”

  1. I soooooooo relate to this. The worst is mealtime. .. Mine’s a horrible eater and by the time she gets done, her high chair resembles a war zone. Gunk and goo everywhere


  2. Explaining why daddy doesn’t want her to wash the car with a pot scourer, or help wash the car At All!


  3. I think I’ve definitely developed all these skills too, although my ability to get a back arching toddler out from behind a sofa still needs some work! #FamilyFun

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ahaha I love it. I’m familiar with some of these and give it another 2 or 3 years I think I will have them all honed!! I think my ability to make ALL of my actions into songs is impressive – I sing while doing pretty much anything now, definitely never used to do that 😂 #FamilyFun


  5. Ha ha great post to get you over bloggers block! I can’t think off the top of my head a skill I’ve learnt, maybe coming up with the excuse of baby brain to get me out of something!! Thanks for linking up to #familyfun


  6. Haha, I think I’ve acquired a fair few of these skills already, particularly carrying all the bags. Who knew it was possible to carry so much stuff as well as another human? #familyfun


  7. Haha I nearly spat my coffee put at number 3! I bet there’s a skill you didn’t know you would need eh! Yep us mums are multi talented multi functional creatures with arms of steel and patience of a saint… Most of the time. I think I am secretly an octopus the amount of things I have carried all at once! Thanks so much for linking at #familyfun. Hope to see you again next week xx


  8. haha I can’t wait to see what my boy will be doing in the future:D For now (he is month) I’m watching cartoons and singing a song like Old MacDonald:D


  9. That is actually so true, there are many many skills I now have, I didn’t even realise I was competent in. I can relate to the phonics one, as I now only spell out in the phonic sounds even when not around children, oh dear…I would say one of mine would be that I can hold a conversation with multiple children at the same time, without them realising that I am doing it! Clever eh?! Xx


  10. OMG, the nail cutting!!! I remember the first time I accidentally nicked my son when I was cutting his nails. Worst feeling ever, I felt like a terrible mom!!! Never knew how suspenseful it’d be to cut a tiny human’s fingernails, haha. Thanks for sharing! ❤ #KCACOLS


  11. haha, who can’t relate to that? However, you need to explain more about a finger up the cat’s bum! Just kidding. I would never ever try it anyway. They can scratch your face within seconds. I am always cautious with cats! baby wipes and food before leaving the house are my new obsession. That and muslins! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday.


  12. Haha I love this! Number 3,4 and 5 made me really chuckle! Mine’s probably learning to change a nappy whilst also having to pin down my son to stop him crawling off whilst covered in poo! #KCACOLS


  13. Finding food behind their sofa, your phone under their pillow from when they snuck into your bedroom in the middle of the night to watch YouTube.
    Great read, it had me laughing at memories it inspired, wait until they get older #KCACOLS


  14. Distinguishing poo and chocolate is oddly difficult. I find the only thing that cleans crayons off any surface is WD40. As strange as it sounds it works. And doesn’t strip paint or wall paper. Also works on carpets. It’s my miracle go to item.


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